Sometimes you think you’re smart,
when you look around before you fart.
Who to blame for this dastardly deed,
“it wasn’t me" you instinctively plead.
Then you try to blame the dog,
and make your way up to the bog
There you crouch in your solitude,
straining and hoping for some to protrude.
Then all at once like shots from a gun,
you try to reload but the bullets have gone.
You reach for the paper and to your dismay,
it was on the shopping list you forgot yesterday.
You tear a strip from off the wall,
caus’ wallpaper’s better than no paper at all.
Sometimes when you let off a speculative fart,
it ends up much wetter than it seemed at the start.
And as it runs down from the nick of your arse,
you stamp your feet expertly in the long grass.
You shrug your shoulders and weigh up the cost,
of creating for nature some lovely compost..
Author notes
JUDMC Prompt no.3
A contest entry
- Make me smile. NO RULES!! by Jade.Butterfly.
500 points, ended October 14, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - halloween! what will u do? by CowboyFan1.
800 points, ended October 21, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Laughter is the best medicine! by Anu-Nataraj.
550 points, ended November 8, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh by Lisa..
700 points, ended January 17, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Farted. Hehehe. by Poetryintheblood.
550 points, ended February 3, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I am in the mood for a laugh. by TwiztidMaggot.
700 points, ended July 30, 22 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love to Laugh by Rosefrn.
700 points, ended August 31, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Funny poems PW allowed! I NEED MORE ENTRIES! by Sheilasbabygal4life.
800 points, ended September 12, 53 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes! by Karra-Mayy.
1600 points, ended November 21, 317 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - TOTAL FILTH by Engelbert Humpalot.
550 points, ended November 28, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 3 Simple Prompts - Just About Anything by evershine-90.
700 points, ended November 23, 63 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 47 of 47
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Hahaha goshh! this is soo funny! well crafted on a rather stinking topic! hehehe Well done and thank you for this entry!
Best wishes!!
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What does this mean:
"There you crouch in your solitude,
straining and hoping for some to petrude"???
I have never heard of the verb "to petrude". It sounds obscene. -
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Engelbert Humpalot
Re....Evacuation Problems sorry about the typo should be "Pretrude"
when you put your tongue out it is said to pretrude beyond the lips.
,,,,,,,,Best Wishes.......George.... -
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I fear you mean "protrude". Oh dear.
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Thank you for your fun entry, hehe, good luck, Josie
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ahahaha. i really like this. although it doesnt fit the criteria, im going to keep it in because it is amazing and i hope that other people will read it and feel like i did. and yes, all of this is true. thanks
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LOL very funny!
Good luck and regards...
You tear a strip from off the wall,
caus’ wallpaper’s better than no paper at all.
Sometimes when you let off a speculative fart,
it ends up much wetter than it seemed at the start.
my favorite!
claire
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LOL! This was so funny! Thanks for entering! best of luck!!~
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Hilarious
This is great. Just what I was looking for. Well done. I can't stop laughing. Fantastic!
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lol I loved this!
)) I couldn't stop laughing as I read this. Great imageryand emotions in this. 
Congrats on al the trophies you've won for this; they were well deserved. BRAVO! WOW! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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I chuckled. Guess that's a start. Thanks for entering and good luck!~
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lmao. this is funny. I really needed the laugh! Thank you for sharing. Thanks for entering it in my contest. keep up your great work!!! And I wish you the best of luck... and congrats on the gold and bronze trophies and the honorable mention. Keep up the great work!
twiztidmaggot ♥ -
WOW! this was really good! I thought it was well penned. excellent rhyme. keep up the good worK! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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*coug*
thats all i have to say... finalist list! -
XDD Very different indeed. Great job and good luck!
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XD it is different definitely.
Great job and good luck in the contest.
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Wow! Congratulations on all the amazing cups you've won with this and thanks for the laugh. Thank you too, for the contest entry.
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humorous.....thx for entering !
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Ah, well worth the read and all the trophies it has garnered. Sickening actually since I can relate so well. Best of luck...Scott
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Lol, Thank you for your funny entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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LOLOLOLOL....this is sure to make anyone laugh. Hope no one slips a gunshot off while laughing. Well worth the read. And I loved the part about the wallpaper.
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LOL!
LOL, that was funny! Gross, still funny.
Good luck.
- A.C.
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ITS FUNNY WOW THATS REALY FUNNY GOOD LUCK
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lmao
this is funny stuff
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haha, this is a great poem, i like it cos it reminds me of a friend, who is very...open about her bowel movements, it's...gross lol, but it is mildy amusing, didn't make me laugh though,sorry, i said it was hard...i meant it was HARD. if you said it to me, i'd probably giggle.
great write
well done and good luck
xxxxx -
wow that's a lot of contests...
HAHAHA! funny! -
Thanks mate. Very amusing. Thanks for the entry
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hmm, entertaining. At least i can see how it would be to some. A little bit much on literal toilet humor for me.
Thanks for entering anyhow.
Laura. -
This made me giggle. Seriously.
Good luck in the contest.
- Aly -
Thank you for entering my contest. This is very funny but I think you need to run it through spell check. Is pleed suppose to be plead????
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Pollycheck
Many thanks for your comments on Evacuation Problems. I have altered pleed into plead I noticed you put suppose in your comment which I presume meant supposed.Best Wishes... George
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HA! wow. you were the first person to try anything of the LAXATIVE picture prompt so thanks!! this was just the laugh i was hopeing for.
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LMBO You can not hold what nature wants to let go. It makes good fertilizer. LOL I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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Interesting and very funny indeed. The subject matter was quite amusing and I'm still sitting here wondering. Thanks for entering the contest.
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HAHAHA, this is so gross and funny! It reminds me of my dad (the blame the dog part, not the rest). That's so horrible!! awesome.
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Very funny, thanks for the laugh.
Appreciated by many I see !!!
Congratulations on all the awards.
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This has me still laughing thank you for entering my contest
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Disturbing and hilarious at the same time, a match made in heaven. Flow was a little off in the beginning, but I really don't care. Liked it a lot, good luck in the contest.
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ooookay? This was funny and gross, but very descriptive and well written. Just wondering, how does it fit my contest?
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Good descriptive poetry. It made me smile.
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i wish there were more than 3 applause reindeeers =D !!
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“it wasn’t me you instinctively pleed.
<-- i think you need to put inverted commas after 'me in the above line.....
awesome write dear poet....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
=D
godd luck,
Anagha-Nataraj -
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OH MY GOSH!!
This for sure tickled my funny bone..
I'm still laughing at this.
Oh dear me.Wow this was funny and it surely made me smile no laugh.
Wow i loved it!!
Great job!
Good luck in the contest.
-Mandi
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this is very funny
good luck in the contest xxx -
eeeeeeew, gross! Omg, so gross I love it!
Thanks for entering
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this is very hilarious good luck in the contest..xxx
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