Hidden by the hallow in the wood
a dark figure waits for you
your scared
but wisely don't show it
It creeps closer
like sharp pin pricks
it grabs at your hair
and tears through your skin
You cry out
but your voice has no sound
your trapped
in its cruel shadows
Author notes
9/17/2008
Say What You Want, If it's hurtful u'll be ignored
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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How deep the meaning could be.
This is a simple yet good poem. It could have been built up more. But I get tired of hearing that. They don't all have to be long, or melt your mind to be good. There is a spelling mistake you used twice {your}={you're} in you're scared and you're trapped. Just as a suggestion you could drop the {and} on line eight and the {but} on line ten and let them be implied. You've got the right idea. If a comment is just meant to be hurtful it's meaningless unless you let it bother you. -
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Thank u 4 reading and taking time to comment ^_^
I also thank u 4 giving me a few pointers. But this poem was just a spur of the moment write, and most of the time, they r the worst in grammar and spelling ^_^
Thanks again!
~Lorissa~
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ooooo
very scary and well made, the fantasy in this really did flow -
wonderfully done my friend this is something that has that strong fantasy flow and something else like the poem before, keep it flowing.
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Thanks ^_^
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