Summertime has passed and
gone
birds in the trees sing a new
song
a chilly breeze now fills the
air
the trees all dressed in color
attire
leaves that are now floating to the
ground
have turned from green to a golden
brown
still along the rolling mountain
side
the colors flow like an evening
tide
dancing in the evening
breeze
complimenting the tall green
pinetrees
weaving together a brilliant color
scheme
that would challenge the talent of an artis't
dream
now as i sit here in the evening
breeze
the birds are still singing in the
trees
i closed my eyes in a sleepy
way
and dreamed that autumn was here to
stay
Author notes
This is a new style I have been working on.
"note" only one capital letter the first word in the poem and no punctuation.
Comments welcome.
Wingsofgold25
The name of my new style will be
Edsque
A contest entry
- Autumn Contest for Partners In Crime Group by Partners In Crime.
725 points, ended September 23, 2008, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy quickie ♥ by wildflower..
965 points, ended January 4, 2009, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Only Rhymes #3 Nature Lovers by januaryrain.
1000 points, ended March 8, 2009, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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You have broken both rules for this contest, no trophies other than gold and over 20 lines. This is being disqualified
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very nice i love the imagery in this piece i could see the leaves as they all fell to the ground....keep it up...
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Beautiful verse - I love your style of this write about autumn - especially the colours and the bird songs - one of my favourite seasons too. It brings a peaceful feeling as you describe the leaves floating and dancing. In verse 3 last line, should it read 'talent of an artist's dream'?
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Thank you for you nice Comment on my Poem .
It is appreciated very much.
Thank you for your sugestion I made the change and you are right It looks and sounds much better.
ED. -
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Thanks for your appreciation. I meant that the spelling of tallent should be 'talent' (at least it is in UK script!) and the other word should be artist's.
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nicely done. bright and vivid imagery. Nice to read something that's refreshing. thank you for entering
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Very nice
---Janette -
Great flow, fantastic imagery, and superb rhyme. I could the season in my mind's eye perfectly with this read. Great job and good luck in the contest!
♥ Kathraina -
Vivid imagery brings me right there. Nice! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
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weaving together a brilliant color
scheme
that would challenge the tallent of an artist
dream
This is such a beautiful poem you captured me and I loved it ! The imagery and rythem just perfect!
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Congratulations
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i love all things about this, the flow, the rhyme, you could actually see all this as you were reading it and i love poems just like this. I would like to thank you for sharing and best of luck to you in the contest *smile*
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Oh I love the flow of this. Great write. xxx
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Great autumn picture you paint...if autumn would really be and feel like when I read this I guess I wouldn't mind it staying here too
But unfortunitly rain and storm is all I get out of our autumns..
Good luck in the contest
XXJeannette
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nicely done best of luck
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Such a lovely image I now have in my mind. I wanted to close my eyes too at the end and dream with you Best wishes
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very cool, i didn't even realize it was rhyming until i looked at it closer well done good luck in the contest
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Beautiful style, and a great poetic voice for fall. A perfect discription of this time of year. The vision in this poem sts apart from the rest.
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Beautiful poem here Wings, some great imagery i got from your words. Good stuff
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oops, you missed a capitol in the one line.."I closed my eyes in a sleepy way" This is a lovely poem and an interesting style. Did you create it or is it one already created by some one else?
I wish our leaves would start falling to the ground and the weather would take a turn towards fall...the weather mand waid we were entering the cooler weather now...means the days are only 89 instead of 90 + and the nights are a cool 78...how I miss the autumns of old up north...Thanks for entering and good luck...
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Thank you for pointing out the capitol "I" I just corrected it.Yes I created this style this is my second poem in this style.
The first is titled ( I Love You )
Thanks for your comment
Good LUck to you also in the contest.
ED.
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What a beautifully descriptive poem for the Autumn season, Ed More than just descriptive, you've made this reader feel this piece and relate to it.
"have turned from green to a golden brown"
I love the ambiance of this soft but expresive line.
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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