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Good Bye

His lips brush sotfly against my lips

My heart sinks in like a sunken ship

 

I hold him tight and try not to let go

 

I thought i prepared for this weeks ago

 

He kisses my forhead and looks me in the eyes

 

He whispers in my ear "please baby  dont cry"

 

I try to hold it in and kiss his cheek

 

Hoping my tears wont start to leak

 

He kisses me again and tells me "good bye"

 

I couldnt help but start to cry

 

He walks away and heads for the plane

 

My body trembles and my heart is in pain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 








 

Tell me what you guys think...lol

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20
  • AloneWithoutHer
    August 27

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    Clappys! ^_^

    Here you go! Im so sorry, I totally meant to I just didnt know what I was doing. That was my first comment ever.

  • AloneWithoutHer
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    Ive been struggling with how to comment on this, but not because of the poem itself. It is written well, I can almost feel what you were. Its sad and touching. I like the style, its like a story but more about the feelings rather than what happened, and it rhymes. I like that, it shows you put some thought into how you wrote down your feelings. But for me it brings about other feelings than it does others who read this, you know why Im sure. It is a wonderful poem though, and I cant wait to read more from you. I will comment every one <3 Youre amazing, I love you.


    • krystal balllll
      August 26
      Edit | Reply
      Uh! Uh! Uh! wheres my clappys? lol jk! Thank you this comment means a lot to me. And thank you for reading this . You have no idea how happy you just made me lol.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply

    aawww...

    my friend..so sad, lovely and touching at the same time though, it's too bad u don't any more writes though i already like your writing technique..so get some work posted soon!


  • Emerald-Spirit
    October 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, this is so sad! I loved it though. Like the similey "My heart sinks in like a sunken ship
    " Great write hun. xds-gx


  • MissyYates
    October 13, 2008

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    So Many Can Relate!

    This is such a sad poem and you can feel the sorrow of the "good bye". I love the fact that so many can relate.


  • Garreth Rhys Bellis
    October 11, 2008

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    this is great a story of being left so many people can say that they know what this is about its jus great xx


  • Galaxy2
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sweet melancholy note....
    Kisses....
    Galaxy2


  • hotchocolate gold member
    September 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad but also a good write! Has alot of emotion.


  • cre8tiv-writer
    September 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Aww...this is so touching!! Great job! Can't wait for more of your work!!


  • XXAgedWithDespairXx
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was awesome. It was sad yet so beautiful. Foreign and yet familiar.
    Good job


  • Yorkshire kevin
    September 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    HI
    Sad yes,beautiful poetic picture
    KEVIN X

  • Forever Hated
    September 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you

    Thanks for the comment.. i really liked this poem.. is it based on actual events? very sad, very well put together.. and if you dont mind me saying so,You're very cute


  • Ignored
    September 20, 2008

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    Short but so ling in the meaning of love. I really liked this poem. I read it and it just painted a picture in my mind. I LOVED THIS POEM AND I REALLY HOPE TO READ MORE FROM YOU!


  • Chocolate Dime
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG this was so sad and romantic. Verry Verry visual and clear, almost tangible emotions. Nicccce

1 - 20 of 20