Beautiful Face

Along this long and windy road
The wind twists my hair and winds my robe

Of all the rocks beneath my feet
They are not felt for the callus between
Separate the ends from the terrible means
My love, where are your senses?

The path you tread I cannot follow
This truth is far too much to swallow
I thought at first it just a phase
For surely something so quickly decided
Must quickly fade

But now three years of this facade
Is wearing me down and raw and soon,
Soon I will fall and then my dear
Only my marrow, my love and my fidelity
To you will remain,

This hair and these lashes
Blown, burned away and
This skin and this flesh
Melted down

This framework these bones
Will crumble beneath the weight of this
Change, this shift in purpose
And as you drag me toward your heavenly destination
My marrow will slip away from your leash of love

And only then I will be free
But it will have no meaning
For freedom is not what I dream of at night
Freedom is a word for fools who own
Their emotions and do not grow them
As you own my heart Stu,

But I can feel yours slipping from my fingers
As I try and find another route
But you are unyielding
You are unbending
And as you hear the Snaps
And Cracks, of my frail bones breaking
You push onward to this place I cannot go
To this Heavenly platform you will
Me onward as if I were but a slave

A beloved servant being dragged across the dessert
I cannot see the sun
When your beautiful face
Is shining in front of it

I have seen nothing but you for so long
That I cannot even remember what it would be like
To see anything different
Even my own face has become a mask
In my mind, a mask of yours

But it is my face
And so is how I want it
I cannot be fraudulent in your presence
Or in the presence of myself
And My Own God,
My own truth that you refuse to listen to
For my pleas fall on deaf ears

While you spout your new verses at me
Pummeling my pride, my dignity
And God knows you have left nothing of my sanity,
I do not wish to take you down my own road

But can we not make our own road,
A new road, between the two?
Past the one we have both traveled
And cannot return to,

But between the paths that diverged
On that sunny bird song day
When you told me I was going to Hell?