We're joined at the hip coyote.
You take from me in the dead of night,
I'll take from you upon your quiet return.
And when your gone I'll rob your grave,
to pay the jackals,
who attend your demise,
in your crumbling plains of deception.
You sign my poetry
as if it were yours,
I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold.
We need one another coyote,
to prick and plot and plan
our ways,
that distract one another,
and subtract one another,
so others will not see
the wretched disregard
we have for one another.
We may never see the gift
that was given to us,
by those who thought
us trustworthy.
They will see the trickery
as a step closer,
to being alone,
with nothing,
But our shame.
Author notes
In a list
A contest entry
- Yin and Yang! Universal Spirituality by Dark Otter.
450 points, ended October 12, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me Persona! by chordphrute.
600 points, ended October 13, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme,Lyrics, Prose, Dirty Pretty. by Antebellum.
800 points, ended September 24, 291 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1094 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 71 of 71
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everything you write is so amazing that it never fails to steal my breath.
"I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold."
my favorite part
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Love the second stanza.
I can see why this has won gold twice.
Its amazing.
thanks for taking the time to enter.
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Beautiful =) I love the mystery it has to it... Wonderfully written
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i like pieces that backhandedly talk to yourself.
it always makes it more.... emotive... or real. your words, what i've read thus far. are fairly real. i believe that is why i enjoy them so.
thank you again for another great write. -
best of luck in the contest friend
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wow no wonder this piece won so many golds this is super good!
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deep poetry! makes you ponder..
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you have gotten a intresting style of poetry here that makes you want to smile. I love you use of imagery it really does place a clear imagery in our minds
.
It is know wonder why you have won gold twice I hope you win the third gold.
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Excellent write you have here. It was interesting in it's own personal way. Excellent write and good luck in my contest.
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Mythologically sound. Yes, we need the mischievous just as we need the good will. Necessary tension keeps things moving. Another good write. And STEAL THIS POEM? (slips computer screen in my trenchcoat and runs hastily away)
"by the those" - "by those"
-
You sign my poetry
as if it were yours....
favorite lines.. -
Originally crafted piece
on the nature of cohorts and coyotes.
This was beautifully written
and with great imagery.
Thanks for entering & best of luck -
:)
very interesting.
i love this. its amazingly awesome.
almost bitter sweet.
very good. -
Clever creative penning....Masterful choice of words, in your metaphor and imagery...
of the Gold...
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Beautiful work! Simply filled with amazing imagery and metaphore! A wonderful write!
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i still adore this one!
i had to come back and read again, and here is the link to mine i threatened some time ago to write, lol
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4833853
and that would be the semi-alliterative piece i finally penned to coyote's due, lol, although i did not even know the term 'alliterative' when i have been doing it for quite some time now, until just recently
HUG -
Funny You Should Mention
another one? good one i mean.i love the part about
you sign my poetry.for years i was quite hesitant in
showing my poetry to anyone for just such a reason. then i came to the conclusion if you rip off my work well damn it' gotta be good. you're good,i promise i won't sign your work but i will print it and show it off. -
You should be proud of this. Do I detect a bit of Poe admiration?
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"You sign my poetry
as if it were yours,
I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold."
This stanza is awesome the whole poem makes me smile, I love the imagination and the diction and the whole wonderful fantasy of it!
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this reminds me of history. Kinda like when the white people tricked the native americans into giving up their land. Good write. No offense against white people. I'm german, irish and cheerokee so I just look at things like this.
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This reminds me of how badger will go into the burrows of its prey while coyote waits at the bolt hole and makes off with prairie dog or rabbit. Coyote is known as Trickster for good reason.
Working together two might be more successful, but when the aim of each is simply to take advantage of the other the returns are limited and short term. Once trust is done there is no focus on positive effort, only on watching one's back or stabbing the back of another. No one wins.
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I love this.
Seriously. 'to prick and plot and plan' was possibly my favourite line, simply because of the sounds it lets your tongue make. But the imagery and descriptions are gorgi. Was it based in truth?
Regardless, whatever metaphor you're looking to make, it was done wonderfully. The last lines are beautiful, completing.
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Excellent
Lowell, did some body or an organiztion really steal your poem? if that is the case that is the ultimate betrayal. I wrote a short Christmas story many moons ago. I told it to a commercial writer, he took and stole my story, I seen it advertised as a television commercial, I was so distraught I did not trust any one with my poems for years. Ya, I am with you I would most certainly want to plan their demise!!!
Wonderful poem, I could feel the pain of betrayal!!!
It flowed, colorfully written and very visual.
Great Job
Avatar1957
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Oh wow just great!
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I love how this is so intimately personal, and yet the way you wrote it allows almost anyone to relate to the emotion behind it. The mentions of poetry, and pots of gold confirmed that this was written from your personal perspective, and I love that about it. It adds that extra inticement for the reader; like they have stumbled across a private letter, or diary entry. Hey, it worked for Bram Stoker, right?
I really enjoyed this!
And yes, my grandparents were Irish.
Always,
V
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love it
i really enjoyed this it was great free verse I LOVE free verse and its meaning to me was deep i think you have touched alot of people with your words great job. (would love your opionion on some of my work)
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Really something
Your words flow with such song. Beautiful. The indians called the coyote the trickster, the joker. And he made them smile. Life is like coyotes always pulling tricks on you. -c
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:]
This is a nice poem. I believe that in the first line, there should be a comma between hip and coyote.
I like the third verse, I think its one of my favorite verses out of anything I've read, and I really liked it. Great write, good luck with your contest!
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This is truely writing at its best.Your writing surpasses me in the sense that you can write in such intricate detail and knowledge.The way in which you state this is that you are not so unlike each other and that they are not the alone you to are the same way as they are.I can see why you won gold it was much deserved.I am so glad I was able to read such a great piece of writing.
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Very well deserving of the gold trophies in both of these contests that you've written for. I half want to say I'm surprised, but in all reality and truth, I'm not. From the few selections of your work I've already read, it is very apparant that your free-writing skills surpass many of those on this site and perhaps those that I've read professionally. Great job. Very impressive.
ing alone,
Mylee -
you my friend are a wonderful poet and i dont think anyone on this sight writes free verse like you, well im yet to come across them but this truely deserves the golds infact it deservers publishing it truely is thst good in my hummble opinion once again it is faultless, really contempray felling to it; i can relate to this and its clear others can, bravo my man. and the tittle was sh*t hot
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Trickery is for the decietful,and yet I wonder why the decietfull sometimes get away with the most of our lives?
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ah, yes, the trickster!
long walks beside, i suppose i too, owe him his due in verse, which gives me more of a direction for something rattling about in the dim recesses of me murky brain, lol
"I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke"
how vivid! fantastic! but, again, very difficult to pinpoint a favorite part
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You are an amazing writer... amazing!
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this was so powerful, it felt like a jackhammer was rumbling around inside my chest waiting for the next line.
you never fail to impress me
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haunting words
For some there can be only one conclusion, friendship is nothing but an illusion - your words leave me chilly and ill at ease - as they were meant to do - the spiral staircase down to where it hurts. I'd say an achievement, this poem...
greets Nelleke -
Excellent
A very fine write. You expressed yourself quite well, indeed. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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Wonderful metaphor and has meaning on many levels. A strange relationship of need and dislike. Kudos to you!
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I wish that I had depth today!
But I don't. I can't tell you how much I like your piece and why. I just do! The coyote is a strong aspect to be led by. If you see him in the desert chasing his tail, watch him in his play and then let him guide you in your true journey. Watch out for his infernal tricks and do not be distracted. You may like the end result.
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This brought to mind issues of co-dependence. I hate the thing I need. I become the thing I hate. I am the thing I have become. At the times when I am alone, I feel keenly the biting need for those I'm so used to having around. I don't know what this poem means to you, but these are a few of the thoughts and images it brought to me. I really dig this. Excellent, as always.
You keep writing. i'll stop by time to time to see what you've got for me. I'm never disappointed.
Steve (JW)
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Hi again poey dear. just stoping by this fine write again. Still loving it.
We are joined at the hip coyote
Jen -
Another great write! You always have interesting imagery, wish i could do that! I love your work, Liam!
xoxo
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Wow, what a colorful puzzle of thought! I love this piece. Curiosity has taken hold and I have read this three times trying to determine who this companion may be to you but in the end it saves as your own secret. Just your own Coyote prowling as that. Much love, Kelly
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This is very well written!!! I love the title!!! You give wonderful detail and descriptions!!! You have great imagery!!! This is a very colorful write!!! You did an amazing job!!! I LOVE IT!!
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very good work...
grand title...vivid images....unusual perspective...
well-done
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Thank-you for the entry and I enjoyed reading it but the contest required a pair of poems so I cannot consider you for the finals list.
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Wow... indeed. Where do I begin, especially when (it seems) all the other comments have said it all. I love your message and the fourth stanza is my favorite.
Impressive writing.
~Kristy
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Nice work on this Lowell! Liked the visual work expressed in this one. You are the best!!!
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Ain't it the truth though. We all have our coyote, or raven circling within the wasteland of our souls. I beleive that you have found a way to show the hidden communications we have therein.
heckuva good write.
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You weave beautiful words into a strong canvas. Your expressions are original and intense and I'm very glad that I clicked (something that I occasionally do with great trepidation!). I'll be back!
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Outstanding!
Hello bro, this has seriously left me speechless. The depth of meaning to this goes far beyond anything anyone has commented on i feel. Ive pondered on it for some time, your wording is absolutely Incredible with a capital I. Your imagination has traversed new barriers of thought far exceeding what i have read so far from you , which is damn good anyway. I see a battle, not necessarily between people, but with elements inside yourself, a personal battle possibly alcohol here? But there is more than one theme running here, like also someone has really pissed you off or maybe some part of yourself you dont like. Your own good and evil battle. Much emotion flows through this write, sadness, anger , bitterness immaculately penned. One of the best writes i have ever read on here Lowell. The third stanza blew me away completely. What a terrific piece of work my friend !!!
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Very good a nice philosophical take on good and evil. Your authors note reminds me of a line I read "so long as one man's a slave none of us are free." It was a great read I enjoyed it. Happy trails
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Some good imagery and metaphor in this piece.
Coyotes and jackals and grave robbing. All very
interesting within their selves. The author's notes
collaborate well with the piece.
Job well done.
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Exceptional
Wonderful write Lowell, the coyote reminds me of all the trickster stories told by the Blackfoot elders. The coyote is a survivor and an adapter to his environment. This poem likely has a much deeper interpretation to it's author, but the beauty of it is that it is written so that the reader can fill in the blanks with their own experiences, their own coyote, and relate to the piece as a whole. A very enjoyable read my friend. Exceptional writing.
Rory
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Superb
Excellent sociological and political commentary. Your metaphors were spot on. I loved,
"
You sign my poetry
as if it were yours,
I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold."
I would follow anything to get to your pot of gold poe. This is very much in tune with your style, yet it seems also to be a little different for you.
I like it.
Brup.
Well done.
Creatresssss
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Ohhh, I have so missed new posts from you! You are so smart within the confines of your work and this one is no exception. I did notice one or two small grammatical errors but I am an English major (please don't fault me!) and I found your subject matter far made up for a few minor details. The following stanza in particular, I find epic:
"You sign my poetry
as if it were yours,
I take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold."
Bravo, my brother!
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Boy can I feel some anger and bitterness. I hope this isn't a true feeling but a write.
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Ah the bittereness is felt much in this one... its hard to explain mt emotion after reading this... but as always i loved it!! your writing is amazing!
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this is really good! you did awesome with the imagery... very good.
to prick and plot and plan
our ways,
that distracts one another,
and subtracts one another,
so others will not see
the wretched disregard
we have for one another.
this reminds me of just life... because this is what people really do to each other, you know? this is really good! as usual. lol. keep up the good work!
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A magnificent piece of work here.every thing just seems to come together so smooth.
Each line complimenting the other.
The battle between Good and evil continues.
Let me just say this is a great work of Art.
your summation in the authors space I felt really put the finishing touch on this excellent piece.
Thank you for sharing.
ED.
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Excellent
The battle rages on between good and evil. You have described that scenario to a tee in this piece. I liked the simplicity and the relation, and the summation that we all take out exactly what we came with, but we are remembered for what we leave behind.
Thank you Lowell for reminding us, and sharing your work
Many Blessings my friend.
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excellent
We need one another coyote,
to prick and plot and plan
our ways,
that distracts one another,
and subtracts one another,
so others will not see
the wretched disregard
we have for one another.
We may never see the gift
that was given to us,
by the those
who thought us trustworthy.
nice sentiments well expressed.thanks for sharing.do visit my poetry and offer some comments. -
If a picture paints...
a thousand words...then surely, a handfull of well chosen words can paint a picture...I don't know how many times I've read this Lowell, studied it...somehow, I can't escape rhyme, and believe me, I've tried...lol this piece is great, I could almost recite it without looking at it lol anyway, I see many things in here; there is, according to my mind at least, a duality of meaning; a duel between two opposite personalities, an old theme of course, but your use and handling of metaphor is a rare gift indeed...in short, I rate it as a brilliant piece of work, so much so, that it has inspired me to write something along the same lines..."sign my poetry as if it were yours"...lol, no, nothing like that of course, I understand your poem, and I relate well with your thoughts, mine may appear to differ in that they are never as eloquent on the contrary, straight and raw...sometimes I don't think that I am a poet at all, but more akin to a wannabe cowboy who never learned to ride a horse lol...well, to each his own right!
Keep walking my brother, you got a built in compass for sure
John
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Wow -
There's several themes playing in and out of this poem; but the main one I understand - your AN affirmed it. I'm curious to know who this coyote is now...
You have a wonderful gift not only with mere words, but with language and communication.
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AWESOME
The trickster stands and looks below and laughs at the games people play, for he knows, that what man does to hurt another, will soon come back, to bit him on the butt...we need on another the coyote says, for without balance with man and beast all will soon be lost...
wisdom flows from my brothers pen and he has given coyote free wind
niaish brother~
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Nice job. The use of the coyote allegory reminded me of some of the Native American stories that I have read.
I liked this alot.
Mike
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Wow, this one was very intense! This poem was a whirlwind of genius, so many wonderful things going on. I love the way so many of the images worked into the next one, such as the canyon and the pot of gold. I just loved the way it juxtaposed. I was at the edge of my seat, really! I feel like there is some interesting back story. Your work is always a joy to read.
Síochán leat
~Mairéad~
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Holy schnikeys! So much to take in here...such depth of emotion...anger, pain...fear. The author's notes placed the icing on the cake for me, clarifying all that you'd written in an undeniable knockout punch.
First of all, I'm so sorry to hear of the recent tragedy...so much suffering in this life it is beyond my comprehension. You are a tender soul..I'm sure you are a comfort to those nearby.
The metaphor you've chosen was carried throughout this entire piece seamlessly..the images you've woven were exquisite in texture and in emotional impact. Each line seemed to trump the one before it as this poem culminated in it's convicting ending.
"You sign my poetry as if it were yours..."
an offense anyone here on AP could relate to...genius choice.
"I'll take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke..."
canyons and crayon? WOW! I doubt I've ever seen a more provoking word choice that rolls more easily off the tongue. And the contrast between "color" and "black and smoke" was powerful.
This one left me truly contemplating the evils humanity has committed upon this world.
Well done as usual, dearest.
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wow wow wow wow wow. It has been faaaaar too long since I have visited your poetry, Lowell Poe. This is amazing. I love the imagery, and how you make this like a conversation with the coyote. My favorite part is probably
"We need one another coyote,
to prick and plot and plan
our ways,
that distracts one another,
and subtracts one another,
so others will not see
the wretched disregard
we have for one another."
That stanza is very strong, and it strikes a cord within my being. I feel something powerful in that poetry and I wish words did not fail me so, in describing these emotions. The ending is amazing as well. A fantastic piece of work, my fellow poet.
Soshoryu -
owww ow ow oooooooooh
This is one of the most fascinating things i have ever read
"You sign my poetry
as if it were yours,
I'll take your canyons and crayons
and color your world in black and smoke
that rises to the sky
and blinds your direction
to my pot of gold."
Absolutely stunning...
This piece if terrific... it is drizzled with imagery and wrought with perceptible meanings....
"that distract one another,
and subtract one another,
so others will not see
the wretched disregard
we have for one another."
You never cease to amaze me... thank you for that....what a pleasure it is to be a part of it all!
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Well well...
This was different, but I loved it. The first "your" in Line 4, should be "you're".
"And when your gone I'll rob your grave,
to pay the jackals,
to attend your demise,
in your crumbling plains of deception."
I LOVE THAT LAST LINE!
From Coyotes, to Jackals, to Poetry...You are one of a kind...A true Maverick...
I loved the repetition of "one another" in Stanza 4. You don't use repetition very often, but it really payed off there.
Canyons and Crayons to color a world in black and smoke, and leave it in obscurity, not to hide, but to evade. To deny what is yours to deny. It is your right to do so...They do not deserve...I understand completely Lowell.
This was beautiful, in it's own way. BOOKMARKED!
BLESSINGS LOWELL,
BRANDON
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