Dyke

[Fuck]
I hate the way you hold me tightly and
whisper sweet nothings in my ears.
Your voice, like an echo of the denouement
of love, rings high and haunting in a world
tinged green. Yet, the grass in 'our' park seems
to take on the golden tinge of [forever]
when you walk so nonchalantly past me.
I step carefully, unwilling to crush tiny
creatures, as invisible and innocent as you
have forced me to become.



[Fuck]
I hate the way you flip your hair so casually
from the blue eyes that stole my soul
so easily. You tore me down so effortlessly
because one word broke through the wall
so hard that my softest kisses couldn't knock humpty
from his perch. You let them[me] knock
that perpetual smile from your radiant
face, all the while keeping time as if nothing,
no one had snapped your strings.



[fuck]
I hate the way you smile so sweetly when
you cross my path. Why can't you just tear my
heart to shreds the way I know you long to. I still
fail to understand why everything we built is
theirs to take away. How is it that one homophobic
jock can take away every shard of my perfect,
plastic world? One homophobic jock who
allowed that deadly world to slip from his perfect lips
to land unnoticed and brooding in the sea
of your 'imperfections'. Though I never understood
how your eyes could be 'too blue'.




[fuck]
I hate hearing you call me that word
now as I walk past you with my head hung, so
helplessly. How do you, such a beautiful disaster,
find the strength to break down the words that broke
you down to form one perfect insult. How do you, a
girl too beautiful for words, find the nouns and verbs
that become the lemon juice you left in my paper cuts,
when you stopped halfway through my makeover [takeover].




[Fuck]
I hate that I'm finally done with you and all we[I]
used to be. I still can't understand how you forced me
to become your everything, then passed me off as a 'one
time thing'. I feel like the bio-bags that the government
try so hard to promote, only to leave them tucked away behind
their car seats while the poison the world with plastic, paper
dreams.



[I finally realized I was always disposable]