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Back to You

A.  

Thoughts race like bullets in this mess-

so fast, my mind grows weary.

Slideshows are dimly cast and shown,

each image, each thought: your face.

 

When the needle breaks right through,

my thoughts float back to you.

 

Distracted by the mess I've made

it's haunting and inspiring:

The blind man sees though nothing shows;

he urges me to scream aloud.

 

Though flowers among weeds just grew,

I still run back to you.

 

B.

Unsure of what is fact or fiction

but eager for a cure,

I hastily begin my search for truth

and it all floats back to you.

 

To save my mind and change this life,

I've become old and justified.

And I tell myself it's not my truth,

but I still run back to you.

 

C.

Tomorrow I'll care a little more,

and soon it will become too much.

 

When dreams become stronger than life itself,

[you know what I will do....]

I'll fall right back to you.

 

 

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Sadistic klown girl gold member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Wow..a very great write. So deserving of the gold trophy. I felt the emotion and the longing in this poem. Thank you for sharing this with us.


  • DecorusApparatus
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Very good flow indeed. I liked the setout of this and it had a olling sort of rythm, nothing felt forced at all. Very nice.
    Thank you for entering this into my contest.

    --Katie--


  • a59teeth
    March 27

    Edit | Reply

    i can see why you got the trophies!

    this is very good. it maintains rhythm and flows very nicely. it's well worded and ends wonderfully. those trophies are well deserved!


  • HisPrincessMaloka
    February 12

    Edit | Reply
    First off, absolutely amazing poetry. Second off, totally a set of lyrics RIGHT THERE! Third off, loooove the A-B-C stanzas....Fourth off, ok I'm going a bit far here...

    But great job with this write, man. Love it. (or girl)


  • turpentine
    February 3
    Edit | Reply

    GOOD

    Very, very good!!!!


  • Lady Michaella
    January 31
    Edit | Reply

    wow!!

    Wow!!! Omg, this is a very beautiful poem here, that you have written. I usually hate this type, even though sometimes I write it myself (I know, I’m weird and a hypocrite). I love this poem so much, such beautiful emotions here that make me feel so happy and calm. Really wonderful job here, a stunning result.

    -lemon bee-
    x


  • Heroesrox
    January 10
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome job! I really felt the emotion behind this piece! An A+ job! Keep up the awesome work adn thanks so much for the share! I really am looking forward to reading more of your work....which I probably have already............ I read a lot of stuff on here and try to comment on everyones....Sorry for my mindless ramblings.............HAHA!!!!!

    Again.....Thanks so much for the brilliant write and share! Good luck with future writes....but judging from this, you don't really need much luck!!!!!

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~**~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*


  • Sacred Ground
    December 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is mind blowing! Great piece of writing!


  • Princess Cuddle Bug
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love this poem! it flows amazingly and its just so pretty! i love it i love it i love it i love it! lol

    great write sweety,
    good luck my fellow poet,
    ~*Princess Cuddle Bug*~


  • biggdoggspaz5000
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the poem great job great write i love the whole thing nothing to complain about i really do like this part
    Unsure of what is fact or fiction
    but eager for a cure,
    I hastily begin my search for truth
    and it all floats back to you.
    To save my mind and change this life,
    I've become old and justified.
    And I tell myself it's not my truth,
    but I still run back to you.
    i love the emotion in this poem its a really great write keep it up keep on going stay true stay sic and peace out have a nice day

  • michaeline
    November 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful.Sometimes we run back because it is what is familiar to us or all that we know to do because we are afraid to take a chance or fear what could happen if we went out on our own.One must take chances if things are not going good but we go back hoping for someting to be different chances are we are going to be hurt even more then if we had left.Good job on writing this I can see why you won your medals.


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful, I love the "right back to you" repetition. That's what I've been hearing an awful lot of lately. It makes me curious though, if you're going to keep running back, why leave in the first place? Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    my thoughts float back to you.

    I still run back to you.

    their is someone in all our lives that we always run back to. thanks for entering the contest and good luck! great write


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... That;s strong.
    I like the stages, the fact that it's written in parts. People don't usually do that.

    I like also the repetition of the one line...and the way it turns into a statement.
    And I like you've stayed within the parameters, as in tehre are many submitting poems with another title...

    Yeah, I like this. It just gets stronger!


  • movedon
    September 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.....this is just...wow.

    Mylee

1 - 15 of 15