In the mornings before the suns entrance
The girl with the red gloves, would come and listen
Sitting on the bench, where she first fell in love,
where her true loves first passionate kiss filled her lungs.
The early morning mist lingered around her,
trembling as her thoughts circled her mind
of her lovers lips touching her sacred temple.
Filling her with passion and calling for her paramour.
She took a bite of the forbidden fruit,
Knowing her temptation, she gave in.
The gentleness missing in a man,
became her obession, her sin in her hands.
Like a winter steals autumn,
society stole their enigmatic romance.
Marking them unholy, nasty and vile,
together they fled, into the night.
Together forever was not in their stars,
fate ripped them apart, torn from eachothers arms.
Fighting their opressor, a gunshot roared,
ringing in her ears, forever to be heard.
Author notes
http://sarachmet.deviantart.com/art/The-Red-Gloves-71177842
(Amazing picture, great photo prompts!!!)
This picture inspired to me to write a poem about forbidden love, time about 1600-1700s.
A contest entry
- Tell me the story of... by kiwigirljacks.
1300 points, ended October 10, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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OMG
Ciara, this is really amasing! I know it's probably annoying getting Comments like this, but I seriously think you have a really awesome Talent!
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I love how you used the phrase "fill her lungs." It made me think of cigarrettes -enticing, socially unacceptable, and smokin' hot.
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Thanks! Thats what I was going for- a kiss powerful enough to infiltrate their lungs- like cigarrettes haha
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A wonderful tale, such a haunting end to it. Superbly penned. Thank you for the entry and good luck
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Thank you very much
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I like the edits you made!!! Well done!
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Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to re-read it!
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A tragic tale of forbidden love it is indeed!! I loved the story you told!
My only suggestion would be the repetitiveness of "lovers" in the second stanza.. you could perhaps change one of them.. and the two "heard" in the last stanza.. but that is just a personal preference of mine to not have repeating words too close together.
Really a wonderful story you have told!
Thanks for the entry
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Thank you very much! Yes, I was annoyed with using the words together as well...but I hadn't found the right words- perhaps I will soon!
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An excellent poem telling an intriguing story of the picture prompt, a sad tale of lost love.
All the best in the contest ... Sue
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Thank you very much
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