Gathered, in mourning
Faces
I don’t recognize
All eyes blue, gold entwined
This is my funeral; no longer entombed
So familiar, like a déjà vu, but without the overwhelming sense of “I’ve been here before.”
I sense the cumbersome weight of parables through recognizable tongue, but it does not effectuate the ease of confusion I so decisively feel.
Cloned only… by dementia, like witnessing a lifetime of isolation gathering to silently give a eulogy for the forgotten.
Remembered in acrimonious time
A blistered past
Existing in cold rotundas
Walled up in a chamber I built with neither hand; always looking up, expecting...
...disappointment.
Drowning should not have been, though as far as martyrs go it’s quite the testament to my skills in carpentry.
My lungs fill with the tears collected through every sunrise and sunset spent alone.
And all I can do is look upon demise with reddened and sorrowful eyes
The gift of this future...
I gave to myself.
By: Jaye Eryk
Copyright ©2008
Non-monosyllabic comments welcomed
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is a fantastic write. The tone is really what gets you, and the pace is rather slow (to me anyway) it really drags the poem on so the reader can actually FEEL the emotions that are there. Instead of just whipping on through it. This is beautifully written. I am truly happy you entered it!
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this makes a lot of sense. i sometimes feel the same way. upset of where you are in life and feel as though you've sacrificed to get where you are now, you feel upset on how your life is because no matter the efforts made, helplessness and sadness overwhelm you??
that was my take anyway; maybe i read this in the wrong tone...but this is a wonderful write!!!
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Awww this is a sad déjà vu...
I came all the way down here and look how sad your words made me...
But as for the dementia thing, I can relate to that from work....so I know how to react...
"Calling the doctor now and asking for more medication because you're starting to hallucinate"
Missed reading your outstanding poetry...
XXJeannette
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omg how sad..i almost cried
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SAD!
this is so sad! i felt as if i wanted to free my self from such feelings..i wanted to cry out but found my self with nothing! you really know how to make a person frightful...this was great! you writing is so profound my friend
juliet
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Wow
You are awe-inspiring in the rare times you do write, ya know...
"in mourning"
I'm not sure if this is an intentional wordplay, but I like it a LOT. It makes me think of 'morning', and false light...and of course, 'mourning'.
"recognizable tongue"
LOVE this...could be so ambiguous--everyone speaks a "language" you don't understand...enjoying life, maybe?
My interpretation is most likely wrong...but meh, I like it.
Coolio phrase.
I like the word 'effectuate'.
'acrimonious'
WOW, I actually know this word. Do you know how rare it is for me to read an entire poem of yours and understand and know every single word? I learned this word from an episode of Friends...LMAO. Nice usage of such a cool word.
"neither hand"
Likey...'neither'...like, maybe it was built mentally and not physically?
I hate martyrs...
Those last 2 lines.
Absolutely killer.
Keep on breathing.
Fe
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This makes me feel claustrophobic, fingers bloodied from pounding, scratching trying to find a way out, only to find...there is no way out, it was built by the very heart who wanted something different...but it was not to be. Succumbing to the inevitable and facing the future with solemn silence, eyes rising to look into all of their souls who look on...
I sense a look of defiance, you can't beat the beaten..
as always J. well done.
~E.
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