it was during that time under the willow tree,
wind twisting the branches out of shape,
and your cruel words twisting my heart
into a palpitating mess of red tears.
when you decided the end had come
you gave me back your half of my keychain,
the little golden key that unlocked my locket.
our picture, singed from the flames
you threw out into the wind
hoping to never see our smiling faces again,
or me.
you said we’ve reached the boiling point,
and from then on
I was forced to evaporate from your life
without even a second chance to simmer back.
I was not even a happy memory,
I was your disaster.
and swallowing broken shards of glass
cannot hurt more than this reminiscence of the past.
In a list
A contest entry
- Reserve It! by stylization.
750 points, ended September 25, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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The last stanza was very powerful
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"and swallowing broken shards of glass
cannot hurt more than this reminiscence of the past."
so heartbreaking, and so beautiful.
you definitely deserved the gold.
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Whoa nice. I adore your writing.
Even just the way you started this poem was in itself, brilliant. Captured my attention
Well done
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thankss for the comment
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beautifullll
and your cruel words twisting my heart
into a palpitating mess of red tears.
when you decided the end has come
you gave me back your half of my keychain,
the little golden key that unlocked my locket.
our picture, singed from the flames
you threw out into the wind
hoping to never see our smiling faces again,
or me.
love that,
but second stanza first line
should be "when you decided the end had come"
shouldn't it?
and the third stanza sounds awkward because there's no verb :|
but other than that
this = LOVE. -
Oh my god! This is amazing! I love the storyline here, the way you begain "it was during that time under the willow tree," and how you didn't use the prompt 'til the end but it just fit in perfectly. Wonderful write, thank you so much for entering!
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thanks so much for the gold
and the amaaazing comment haha -
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It deserveddd
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haha okay.
How about...
Broken Glass Makes For Sharp-Edged Memories -
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im finished :]
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that's an amaaazing title!
thanks
ill get to work sometime tmrw
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