Your mind
overdosed on electronical surges
flooding your veins
to shock
life.
Like a robot
who doesn’t understand,
tears just rust your eyes closed,
and no one has the oil.
I once thought you:
the omega,
my origin,
the hope, desire and belief
that revives souls,
till pumping organs
spoke the wind in my ears;
His emotions are of statues
never flinching,
when you don’t matter.
Skies clear,
and it reminds me there is a sun
twirling the abundant mind
of ideals,
I can curl lips
to show teeth
and dance.
There is a new day
filling water colors
so I can paint a memory,
remember an old friend,
and wish on stars tomorrow.
Clearing foggy roads
that feet used to skip to,
a void somewhere
buried between importance.
And when I see
you’re breathing,
still knocking at this door;
I can see it reminds me
you’re nothing anymore.
Author notes
luna-midnight
prompt:"it reminds me of nothing; and sometimes that’s better."
by checkmate
i'm sorry....i know...its blah...i tried... 
A contest entry
- Proudly Presenting: ROUND 2 (: by Walk-Free.
1500 points, ended October 7, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Hoodwinked!
This poem is full of playful metaphors and images - very nice! I especially like:
"There is a new day
filling water colors
so I can paint a memory,
remember an old friend,
and wish on stars tomorrow."
This Brings to mind the metal tins of little squares of watercolors I remember from childhood.
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I disagree - I found it captivated my imagination!
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Hood-Winked!
This is a beautifully written poem
I love the set-up of the first stanza, and the robot metaphor is brilliantly crafted throughout - my favorite stanza was the one about the foggy roads - it packs a punch 
you are a talented poet!
Keep writing
Polly
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Hoodwinked
I don't think it is blah. I think the poem shows depth and you think about things that are around you. I wish you luck in the contest and all your future writes. -
congruatulations on making it to the next round!
here's the link of the last contest. please do enter because we have fallen in love with your poems (:
http://allpoetry.com/contest/show/2423543# -
It's not blah! I loved it! A really good write hon!!
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unique, different, but in a good way. this was a pleasure to read. your last few words were very impactful. keep penning
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This is fabulous hun! Ahh I have been here... the forgotten, until they wish to remember again.. but then it's too late!
Know many like this:
His emotions are of statues
never flinching,
when you don’t matter.
Love that bit! A brill write all round!!
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This is a heartfelt penning Steph, and the whole thing is packed with wonderful diction and metaphor.
I'm so proud of you hun.
With much love,
Your AP daddy,
mj.
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this is pretty good
really amazing imagery and i agree with Hope Angel that your writing style is quite special.
best of luck
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bs it's not bad.
It's freaking amazing. I've no other words.
Oh wait I do, lol I like your writing style, it's unique.
Love you and good luck
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please work on this (:
the contest ends tomorrow and we're hoping to judge asap
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i'll try.
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