When everything settled
the storm's eye was looking back at me.
My first coat of wet paint was heavy.
Wow!
I choose to let it blow me off with friends
watch burnt sunrises
and rust through.
Hoping I might dry again tomorrow.
Author notes
Rust
A contest entry
- -Bohemian Rhapsody- by sailor ptolema.
1100 points, ended October 9, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i'd get rid of the "Wow!" . It seems out of place to me.
this is quite the abstract piece. seems to touch on the idea of hope, and a better tomorrow.
thanks for entering.
pt
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Dry again tomorrow or pour showers of ocean all over and about your cheshire like grin; watch you drowned in snail paces and eye lid flickers but know that there lies, somewhere, a burnt tear of hope.
miss you buddy
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I don't know what it was about but I love the way it was expressed. The final line in intriguing and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Cheers
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