Holding my umbrella to protect my head from the rain,
i heared a short raspy voice ask "do you have change"?
even though i was in the rain, i could not complain
so i bent in front of his box and asked him for his name
as soon as i seen his face; i immediately felt his pain
and even though he was homeless;he had no shame
proudly pronounced the name and told me it was james
Excuse me Mr., you getting water on your clothes
at that point i froze, because he was the one homeless but still worried about my woes
face dirty, clothes torn, no shoes on his feet
the look of any other man that had suffered defeat
it seemed like he been through so much grief
but the look in his eyes said that his heart was piece
at that point in life, i became free
i didn't give him change, gave him my umbrella because he changed me
Author notes
homeless people
A contest entry
- -Bohemian Rhapsody- by sailor ptolema.
1100 points, ended October 9, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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There is no doubt that the content is very moving. The imagery used brings the reader in. My only gripe is the structure and lack of punctuation. It diminishes the quality of this piece in my opinion.
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this is very different from all the other poems that i had read and wrote
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the homeless have changed me too
.
thanks for entering.
pt
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WOW!!!
Amazing. This poem really touched me, and then I saw you had entered this piece in a contest - which just closed today. I wish you the best of luck, and I thank you for sharing your profound masterpiece!!!
Take care, Cyn


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Bravo! The ending was very touching. Perhaps the 'piece' in the third last line should be 'peace'. I loved the flow and how easy it was to read. Good luck in the contest

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This has a sort of innocent sweetness to it, good job.
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I like the story. very much. makes me think...


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Awww this drew me in to the imagery you have depicted
I felt like I was the person looking at the homeless guy.
Well done lovely write
Karlie
xxx

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