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A letter from Scotland (Irvine Welsh writes to Cinnarry, as dictated to Mairi bheag)

Maybe you are lying smashed and blocked like me,

staring at the sky… let’s think “What a hure of a universe!”

… your eyelids stretched alert beyond the need for sleep.

I wonder if you can feel the same shiver as I can right now –

someone fixed a guitar-string between your shoulders

and hit a long, lunar note. Very long, very fucking lunar.

 

Life is, well… come to foreign parts, drink the water.

Impurities? (see the sly, brown trout, the cunning bastards

 that jab and dart like thieves fingers? They pish in the water.)

Fuck the impurities – they give the water its taste.

 

 

PS

There’s a yellowness to the sky that I cannae pin down.

It’s not the citrine of sunrise, more the slow-fade

of a month-old lo ammi chucked in a builder’s skip.

I’ve been walking for hours, like this, like you see me,

a towel I nicked from some hotel round my neck,

and the arse of my trousers still wet from sitting in The Meadows.

I came down from the castle fast, and my ankles are like hinges,

and my feet flap, and the pollis look at me like I’m some

old shitter who cannae hold his drink.

My breakfast has been the late drift of last night’s à la carte

from the froggy bistros in Thistle Street,

and that is beginning to hurt. Like the pain behind my eyes.

I can see a light; it might be red,

it might be more of the same yellow,

it might be MacDonalds,

I might have some money left.

Anyway, a gusty terrier of a wind is nipping at my ankles,

and I am yawing as I walk, hopscotching dog-shite.

Goodbye (he said, bowing), goodbye, goodfuckingbye.

 

 

Author notes

HOW TO MAKE AN IRN BRU FLOAT

Take one pint glass, don’t quite fill it with Irn Bru, leave enough room to satisfy  Archimedes. Drop in two scoops of vanilla ice cream. Serve with a fucking long spoon.

 

 

 

Bear with me – the infernal glitches of AP are making it impossible to edit notes without screwing up the formatting wholesale! This is about the seventh attempt.

 

This was the first manifestation of my Welshday poetry. It grew from here into a projected longer work, inwhich a fictionalized Irvine Welsh spends a surreal day travelling through modern Edinburgh with, as travelling companion, a certain “Detective InspectorRankin” (possibly based on Ian Rankin’s D I Rebus – I said possibly). As the whole is turning out, it seems to be drawing on Dante’s Inferno, Dylan Thomas’ UnderMilk Wood (the very name Welsh prompted that!), and James Joyce’s Ulysses(ironically the real Irvine Welsh now lives in Dublin). Let’s see how it progresses.

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Comments

1 - 30 of 30
  • Cinnarry gold member
    September 20, 2008
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    Kisses Mairi and these words.


  • Amera gold member
    September 18, 2008

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    This is really well written as is most of your work. I'm so proud to be your friend and AP Sister. I cannea understand how you can pen such perfection and not be able to spell the word "shit". Oh well! No Scottish spell check I guess. hehe... just kidding, this is wonderful.

    Love,
    Amera♥

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      September 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      That's because it's "shite" here (same as in Ireland). Actually, it's more often "keech" here, but never mind.


  • IronMaiden1236
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    cannea do it again!!!

    I am not worthy!!!!


  • PerVirtuous
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Straight to the finalists list!!!

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Loved your letter from Scotland, you paint poetically enabling the reader to feel the libertine attitude of the character. None of the bad language used offended or seemed gratutious, it was as natural as a stream of consciousness fished from those " sly, brown trout that pish in the water"

    Yes, more Welshday please!

    Bravo.


  • malmadre gold member
    September 16, 2008

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    Mairi, you can take on anything and make it so original, like a great actress playing a part, this one is oscar worthy.


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    it is the flavor of this poem that is intoxicating...the lilt of language, the terrier nipping at the ankles, and your added touch of bittersweet. Mairi, you know how I feel about your poetry - again, I say: Were the world to read you and know you as I do (and oh, darling, I do know there is so much more to learn) then you would be hailed as one our most extraordinary female poets. Cinn will see beauty in this. She will appreciate the thought you have put behind each and every word. In the end, isn't it supposed to be this way? Love to you, Lane

    • Mairi bheag gold member
      September 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Lane.

      Lying half-asleep, I suddenly had a vision of how "Welshday" would turn out. The words to begin it all came into my head and I laughed. I seriously think I shall do "Welshday" - a whole "epic" of which this piece is only the little toe. What I will then do with it is another matter. (There is a contest, still open) for a "pamphlet" of 24 pages of poetry - maybe that should be my first aim for "Welshday"; I wanted to submit 24 pages of my poems, but I couldn't assemble them into any kind of cogent, coherent collection - so why not write something new? Ho hum...

      ... and thank you for your support, by the way. It does mean a lot to have one or two poets who believe in me!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Shit that's too fucking clever by half!



1 - 30 of 30