As New England slept in the morning,
a mist drifted down from the hills,
bonded with dew in the verdant grass,
and kissed the creeks and rills.
The first clear rays of the rising sun
topped the trees on an upthrust ridge,
and lit with a golden glitter
on the planks of Concord Bridge.
The moon was a silver crescent
that faded in dawning light.
Files of redcoats came marching:
heralding the coming fight.
The sharp, booming crack of a musket
rang out on the brisk, clear air --
a mighty, worldwide Empire
would soon be checkmated there.
The promise that sprang from that morning
was sullied by the dead weight of years.
The masters of mediocrity
built a future of tears ... and fears.
Their rapacious avarice and greed
have twisted and warped those dreams,
and shredded the Constitution,
implementing their evil schemes.
If left to their scurrilous seekings,
the world, so filled with mischance,
will drag a once mighty nation
to join a most macabre dance.
When the Captains of finance and industry
call the tune with unholy glee,
Empires shake on foundations
and dikes can’t hold back the sea.
Goodbye to the blooming promise
that America cried to the world.
Those hopes and dreams may be shattered,
and a new flag may soon be unfurled.
In place of the Stars and Stripes,
the Jolly Roger may float,
and the enemies of free peoples
might prance and dance and gloat.
When empires crumble and nations fall,
many evil things come to pass.
When money is King and greed is Queen,
men’s morals grow twisted and crass.
We can only hope that the future
sees generations as yet unborn
who’ve learned from failures of ours
and react with wisdom ... not scorn.
Perhaps it’s not yet too late,
to save the Earth’s biosphere,
but we need to vanquish the spectres
of famine, warfare, and fear.
But whether or not that happens,
we still are compelled to a choice.
Fabricate barricades ... or graves,
but do it with only one voice.
Still, no matter which principle ...
or option to which we hew,
it’s time to bid a final adieu
to the past ... and the world we knew.
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 10 Goodbye - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
10000 points, ended September 21, 2008, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Great Recession: What's so great about it? by Grozny.
850 points, ended May 17, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Strongly Opinionated! by KatherineAnne.
600 points, ended May 18, 24 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATE 17 NOVEMBER- FOR AWARD-WINNING POEMS OF THE PAST YEAR by Vera Rich.
700 points, ended November 30, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
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I am pleased that this contest has brought out some of your pieces which I had not previously had a chance to read, Scribe. I enjoy your "posturing" for the simple fact that you tell a story without being "in your face" about it, as many are wont to do - and your moral of the story is made more effective from your "pulling the punch" just enough. As the saying goes, "Your right to swing your fist ends where my nose begins." I learned, years ago, to avoid conversations about politics and religion, for the truth of it is (and only as an example), you can have two Democrats or two Baptists in the same room together and they would still find something to argue about. 
An enjoyable read, and the comments were a bit of a hoot, as well. 
Good luck in Vera Rich's contest, my Friend. 
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OK, reading your political piece (putting my anti-Michael Moore hat on...)
Ack! New England already! A blue as a blue state can get! (yes, I'm having fun with overgeneralizing already lol)
So, let's see what you've whipped up from this den of wealth-transferrence...
ah, redcoats (from red states?)... no, the American revolution...
then you move ahead into the future, where the country's founding ideals are wearied and twisted by time (which ever gives us less-than-stellar people with major political egos- "toothy-faced airheads" I like to call them)...
interesting to note that the favorite symbol for hedge-fund investors is the Jolly Roger (reflecting the practice of buying a company's stocks short and then endeavor to ruin the company to make a stock-exchange profit)...
but I can't bash the captains of industry out of hand, for when we speak of 'living standard' many are right there in the vanguard, raising it... others? Well, let's just say that not every product and invention is born of a good idea...! (and some slick salesman has to unload all that worthless inventory on an unsuspecting buyer!)
You know, I've written that into my "The Perfect President" book- about greed, where, in one of his stump speeches, he says, "I will fully support and fund Capitalism and entrepreneurialship whereever I find it; but do not expect me to support or condone greed." ) Then I will give sceneraios of conflict where that plays out...
ah, "Save the Earth", our new religion... with all the inherent evils of religious institutions... my view? The only way to 'save the earth' is to move off it... (so yes, I'd fund space technology with that in mind)...
I like your 'barricades' reference - referencing social and political differences and one less-than-ideal reaction to them... but sometimes a people might need to shut the door and get some sleep... (or pass the 'awake' baton to someone who has just awakened with motivation and energy- fat chance that, considering how man tends to cling to political power once obtained, no matter how sleepy and ineffective he with it...! )
I hope your bidding farewell to the past does not preclude learning from history...! (and, judging by my Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, there is a lot of fascinating history out there! )
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LOL ...
are you sure you're not a politician?
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Brilliant!
I see we share the same political viewpoints...I agree that GW did more damage to our country than we may be able to undo. I admire your work greatly, you are truly talented. Thanks for looking at my work. Oh, I read somewhere that our forefathers couldn't have foreseen the 'corporation', I thought that was so true.
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There is a movement to end the FED http://www.endthefed.us/ So not all is lost.
Ending the FED, and putting a stop to run away spending, is the only thing that will stop the printing of valueless paper, and soaring inflation, which is what we will get after Bush's trillion dollar spending spree. And don't think Obama is guiltless; he has spent 2 trillion in his first 100 days. This money has to come from somewhere, and it will be from all of our pockets. Inflation will cause the next depression. It has been warned of by many economists, and many people are screaming to stop this nonsense, but who is really listening?
Great job on the poem, it is well versed, powerfull, and profound. A+
"When power leads men towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses." - JFK
Keep on writting!! -
Congratulations!
You get the gold!
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maybe you should get sick more often if it makes you write this great
jp I really love the even steady flow this has it really was an amazing piece. I greatly enjoyed reading it.
The Positives:
Great Rythme It really sounded great read out loud. I love how you put our nations past into this as well Bravo.
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
When empires crumble and nations fall,
many evil things come to pass.
When money is King and greed is Queen,
men’s morals grow twisted and crass.
We can only hope that the future
sees generations as yet unborn
who’ve learned from failures of ours
and react with wisdom ... not scorn.
This part here was perfection in prose bravo yet again
Overall:
I give this an 9/10 you did great.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~ -
I wish I wrote that...
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Thanks for stopping by ...
I've been wondering how you were doing lately. I wasn't up to keeping in touch with people over the holidays, but I hope yours were spectacular.
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Now this astute verse merited gold and then some in my humbled opinion. And you know I share in your thoughts/estimations on the past dirty deeds and hope springing ever eternal.
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A lot of time went into this great and ambitious work. One of my favorites.
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I'm glad you got Hoodwinked by the way you deserve it
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Thanks ...
although I'm still not sure just what "hoodwinked" is.
As for "no" vs. "not". Either is correct, but I prefer "no" there. However, I might change it anyway since it seems to trip people up. -
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There's a group called the poetic bandits...I used to be in it. Basically they have this Hoodwinking thing, where people nominate other people to have their work read, often because they're ill, or depressed, or have gone through a tragedy etc etc. It's a really nice thing
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But whether or no that happens
no = not. I just thought I'd point that out before I forget.
Love it as always, especially the very first stanza. Top class. I'm not on here much either because I just haven't written anything. It's nice to hear from you though
Keep up the good work. God knows what's going to happen to the economy. Take care x
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wow
wow verry good is seems that when u are ill u can still write some beuitful poetry. i hope to read more like this one. u should read some of mine even though i don't write as well as u and mine are very short ones. i hope u get to feeling better.
love always
ashley -
Oh! I forgot ...
Congratulations on your trophy. I am sure it was a tough contest.
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I am sorry that you suffer from ill health ...
I hope you are better now ...
About your poem: although I am not an American, and also not a politically inclined person, I can understand and relate to your sentiments.
I pray daily for this world, and I am sorry to say I think the leadership of America did much to add to total destruction globally.
But: do not despair. It is all written in prophesy. Rejoice, oh beloved Poet, we are nearing the end Beginning.
Love
Myra
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Wonderful powerful poetry. Sad and thoughtful. Another great write from you my friend, you are officially our greatest supporter, you have won prizes in far more rounds than any other poet.
Sue and I both want to thank you for your participation in this contest and both series of challenges we have run. There will be new contests coming, so please watch out for them.
All the best and thanks again,
Jeff and Sue
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Hoodwinked
Well this just blew me away. i love it! It's very very good! keep on writing!
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BRAVO!
Farewell, I spew through the bullhorn
farewell, to the constution of the fair
farewell to a nation fully reborn
to guild the monsters lairs
Goodby to a nation of heros
see-ya to the american way
we are only digits and zeros
with which weak monsters play
STAND UP! you thoughtful poets
STAND UP! you peaceful few
it's time to claim what they owe us:
build a copy of the land we knew
throw out the wealthy masters
in with the thinking leaders
and out with the greedy bastards
we're through with bottom feeders
you always could git me all worked
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LOL ...
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HOODWINKED!!!
a nice long enjoyable read. great rhythm and rhyme. wonderful imagery. thank you for sharing your talent with us. keep writing poet! God bless you always
you have been hoodwinked by a poetic bandit!!!
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A brilliant piece, with great rhyme and flow, great job!
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Excellent
This reminds me of the old masters, like Longfellow or Yeats. A fitting commentary on the times we are in.
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Hoodwink
Hey there I did enjoy this piece it had a great rhythm a much enjoyable read goodluck to you in the contest best wishes and much luck always
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Thanks, but ...
I'm a little confused. I've been ill and not here much, so maybe I missed something.
What is "Hoodwink"? I've gotten a number of comments recently that say that in the comment, and don't know what it means.
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Hmmmmm ...
the site won't let me reply to Corey's message, but I have never read anything by Dr. Seuss. I don't know if that's un-American or not, but it's simply never interested me. -
Pleasant form, powerful execution - great piece, Jim. Goes back to the "Poets are the legislatures of the world" reputation that I wish still existed. I think both of us shine most when we clothe our idealism with verse. My favorites of yours are usually the ones that go after the human conscience.
No critiques. This was thoroughly satisfying.
"We can only hope that the future"
"Perhaps it’s not yet too late,"
There's a tone here that awakens memories of The Lorax by Dr. Seuss (I'm assuming you've read it). This would be the adult version, of course. It's that aching hope that someone in the future will get it right.
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Weird.
the site wouldn't let me reply earlier. The software here is very odd.
Thanks for the kind words.
I have never read Dr. Seuss. It simply never interested me, and I assumed it was for very young children anyway.
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Masterpiece
OMG! This is such a true patriotic piece of past,current and future reality. The best I've read in a mighty long time on the rise and fall of an illustrious once Free Society that effects all of us directly and currently. And we all know what happens to a house divided. Opportunist step in easily to reap and plunder the hard earned standards and gifts our forefathers and mothers sacrificed and worked lives away to accomplish.
I guess that old saying comes home to roost the difficult hard way. Something to the effect of there'll always be some unethical entity ready to capitalize on anothers ideas in thievery. America has always rode the tides of storm and chance. The most profound advice and quotation verse for me is-
"When the mighty of finance and industry
Call the tune with unholy glee,
Empires shake on foundations
And dikes can't hold back the sea."
Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!! And this merits publication worldwide.
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good luck in the contest
great poem youve ritten here
keep on writin!
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Merci beaucoup.
We stand on the brink of a precipe. It's either jump or learn to fly.
Thanks for stopping by.
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