To be preserved in ice upon the pond
where figure skaters cut their figure eights
across my flowing locks frozen in place
about the fur lined hood that frames my face
would please me, should I drown myself by way
of sewing stones into my petticoats
and sinking into mud too far, too late
to step away from tedium's disgrace
To leave a fading trace close to the shore,
my face upturned to skaters crossing o'er –
a warning to those tempted by thin ice
Author notes
image: http://www.thefrancisgallery.com/photo/a-p1.htm
A contest entry
- Do Not Resuscitate by CarolDesjarlais.
1200 points, ended September 21, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
I love this...Carol's poem led me to ya and I see why she was amazed and why it won Silver..
Brilliant! but I am not surprized..
Lynda
-
In response - http://allpoetry.com/poem/4616063
-
You know, I had a feeling this was yours..you have such wisdom about old ways... I have a poem on its way as response to this....
-
Oh, incredible poem by someone who knows the older way some of our sisters chose...sewing stones in hems...what a poem is scrolling in response here...
-
Oh my goodness. This is so visual, and icy. I cannot even imagine seeing this image while skating. Having sewn stones into a petticoat. Wow. Left me a bit somber and so cold. Excellent poetry. ~Pamela
-
Definitely a chilling, dark wintery night tale. Beautiful "flowing locks frozen in place" with both 'flowing' and 'locks' possessing watery or nautical as well as hair definitions.
Cool, almost disassociated contemplation, "should I drown myself by way of sewing stones into my petticoats." Perhaps a hint of having been tempted by or onto thin ice before, to hope she might serve as "a warning to those tempted by thin ice."
Very nicely alliterated, excellent imagery.
-
Fantastic
Fabulous imagery!
To leave a fading trace close to the shore,
my face upturned to skaters crossing o'er –
I love that! Good luck in the contest! -
Kind of a departure in subject matter for you, but one you have pulled off beautifully, this paints such a tragic portrait, bravo to you!
-
I agree with the other comment.... WOW!!!
-
I'm speechless ~
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
