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Miss DeVill

http://www.projectorreviews.com/images-projectors-06/Optoma_HD70_SinCity_Nancy2Large.jpg 

 

"They call me Miss DeVill for a reason. It sounds a lot like a devil, it comes with the job. I work as a hit man, just that I am a woman. I've had more cases then my rivals, and I have only lost seven so far.

What made me do this, is a question I ask myself daily now a days. Is it the money that I don't need anymore, is it the fame in the sub hood, or is it simply just the thrill of a murder. I promised myself the day I found the answer to that I would retire and get the hell out of this city, buy myself a nice little house out in the woods and get a few cats and maybe a cow as well, try out the calm and peaceful life for a chance. This city has given me more problems then joys. So far I have the largest record at the cops, I can't show my face around anymore. Not that I am much to look at, after all those countless hours hunting down unlucky souls that has gotten into serious trouble. That reminds me of the poor young woman, she was so deep in it all but she also was innocent. Just a case of wrong place, wrong time. There and then I wanted to take her with me and retire early, her life was the only one I had conserns about. 

  Here he is, time for work."

Author notes

Photo from google.

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1 - 5 of 5

  • still.she.waits
    October 2, 2008

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    im all about direct and straight to the point, but the mix of straight to the point and subtle description that leaves me guessing, kind of turned me off on the character. i cant decide if i want to know more about her, or if i should take the what you see is what you get part of her. a little more added to this might make it a little clearer for me.


    • Meroza
      October 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I followed your advice and re-wrote it a little. Hope you like this better


      • still.she.waits
        October 2, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        i did say i wanted more, but alas i am in the judging process already. and since i havent given anyone else a chance to re-write, i am juding on the original version. many apologies, next contest i will allow a revison process before i judge.


  • kao3
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I didn't relate well to the character, I think this could use some more imagery. I must admit with the title I was expecting to hear about dalmations. However a good entry and on topic. Good luck in the contest.


  • Asylaarix
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow
    Amazing
    I loved the mystery in this piece
    A hit-woman
    who would have thunk?
    A record more than any?
    That's off the hit
    Good luck with this one
    I liked it a lot

    TT

1 - 5 of 5