Exhausted and weary of quest without fruit,
of fighting the grip of duality’s claw,
I feel how my sap sinks from crown to the root,
sense eyelids surrender to gravity’s law.
The seeking is over, the rebel is dead !
The God she was calling with faith, never came …
The Grail promised Gold, but was made out of lead,
dull chalice containing the poison of shame.
Yet, as the sad seeker dissolves with the goal,
and concepts of “I”, “me” and “mine” turn to naught,
the Void smiles in Silence as bottomless Whole;
and God is revealed as the Stillness I’d fought.
The cage of confusion I’m leaving behind,
just soaking in Beingness, free from the mind …
Author notes
Option 1: English (Shakespearean) Sonnet
challenge : meter other than iambic pentameter
I chose hendecasyllabic lines (11 syllables per line) in amphibrachic tetrameter with a masculine (stressed) ending, also called “tailless”
amphibrachic meter : _ I _ (duh-DUH-duh or unstressed-stressed-unstressed)
English Sonnet :
14 lines
divided into 3 quatrains and 1 couplet
volta in line 9
couplet contains conclusion
usually in iambic pentameter
rhyme scheme abab cdcd efef gg
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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The amphibrach meter is an interesting choice. Often associated with children's verse and limericks, it is used here in a profound philosophical consideration of the nature of being oneself. The reflections are personal in their resolution of real or imagined conflicts in the nature of things. They do not threaten, but gently challenge how others might settle the questions and offer another option to any who are still wondering.
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So seldom does one see such a well crafted sonnet these days. I love your rhyme pattern and it is applied with a subtle touch -- not forced or contrived.
I love it.
Garrison
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This is quite a write ...
quite a write indeed.
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thank you for your kind visit, jim ...
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Fredom from reason is the true freedom of choice. Wonderful!
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thanks for your visit, allan ...
it's funny to imagine your one-eyed pirate-avatar holding the sword and pronouncing the quote you have shared with me ...
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I am indeed enigmatic and love irony!
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Oh wonderful and in a meter I adore!!!
I won't comment on the content, but the poetry is superb. Top notch!
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thanks for your praise on the "wrapping" ...
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oh this is so beautiful maa and i will look upon beingness with a brillance of your sonnet in song
mal
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thank you for the poetic cyber-flowers, mallie
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Excellent!
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thank you, mary
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This is where I'm going,
and I will be taking as many with me as I can.
it is freedom and it is all that matters in the world where we have shackled ourselves to our ego that we don't see, and it will not let go,
we need to see it for ourselves without conflict just to be aware, shed the light, it does not like light (smile).
absolutely brilliant maa,
I do get excited when I see you have posted, your wisdom is inspirational.
thank you for sharing your rainbow heart
God bless always...
Kathy
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yes, it's a silly old mirage that we love to believe in ... but the light of consciousness shows us its nature : pure emptiness ... it's like having paid all the life for the credit of a house that never existed annoying, ha ?
thank you so much for your visit, dear kathy
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Wonderful expression of a coming to terms with a life spent in folly of an unattainable quest. The revelation that the way to peace is through self, that inner peace that cannot be found externally. Skillfully written, thoughtful and grace filled sonnet. Well done dear friend.
Dennis
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yes, my dear friend dennis, we believe in a quest if we can't believe that we are already whole ... and often, we tend to try to fill the hole through material objects and distractions ... as if an imagined hole could ever be filled ...
thanks so much for riding all the way over to france !
marion
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love the meter!
and the message. Under all the ritual and music, when all has disappeared, God is. The ones who find that life is meaningless have stumbled on the mystery; then we do it because of the fun.
This is excellent poetry in your usual style, best of luck!
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yay !
usual style, usual message, usual words - just rearranged a bit differently each time ...
I love your statement about the rituals and the music ...
"God" is more beautiful without all the man-made artifice ...
much love,
marion
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Impressive!
In fact brilliant, mate, brilliant! jimmy
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thanks, jimmy
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Ah, maa, I marvel at the skill,
the control of meter and rhyme,
the perseverance in the quest,
but the image I like best
is maa soaking in Beingness,
submerged discreetly in peaceful bubbles,
the pet birds and the butterflies
fluttering over this peaceful surprise.
Sorry, maa, I couldn't resist.
Bravo for you and your beautiful piece!
Love to you,
M-C
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thank you so much for investing so much time, energy and love in crafting thoughtful and touching comments on my poems ... you are truly an angel ...
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maa, you are such an inspiration
for creative thought!
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