The morning awakes
and filters through my conscience
some senses of reality.
And like an i.v,
it runs throughout my veins,
and scorches my inner being
How I die inside
to see you in pain;
I lose my smile in your sadness
and that makes me feel worthless,
worthless of being a man...
Darling,
I'm willing to change
from winter to spring,
from a nothing to something
from a stranger to a friend,
from a crush to true feelings;
yes, I'm willing to change,
from a promise to a wedding ring,
from a boyfriend to a husband,
and to anything that'll forever remain...
Lyrics and sounds
are the soul compounds,
so flow in me;
like the oxygen in my lungs
abound in me
with joy and passion,
we're the chemistry
of the heart's intimacy,
in spirit or in flesh,
I love you like I love myself--
we're the soul matrimony,
love and glory,
a living testimony,
that forever should be...
Like the dew ascending to heaven,
you enrich my life with blessings,
so much love and excitements,
yet; you cause me to cry,
but don't think that I'm weak,
there's something that can't be denied,
yeah, you help me rise to my highest peak,
like the stars to the sky,
you're a haven within heaven itself
and yes, I love you like I love myself...
Author notes
MACKIE
OR
MACKINTOCH
5.) Pen me something beautiful filled with love and passion and sensuality.
A contest entry
- True Love by Samantha Marie.
450 points, ended October 5, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Pic Prompt by offlimits.
500 points, ended October 16, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first contest :) Loads of Options, Allowing Pre-writes. Come in and see:D by Ylova.
700 points, ended November 5, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What if I was your girl??? by XxBroken-HeartedxX.
550 points, ended November 5, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My other half by Angelo di Luce.
400 points, ended November 21, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love. (Prewrites welcome) by Broken - gurl.
600 points, ended February 3, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 61 of 61
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awww
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Enchanting
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Breathtaking
This is so so beautiful,from the first to the last line.
The flowing love and sentiment is certainly felt by the reader.
Loved it!
. Rewarded 6
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Really Beautiful!!! ^_^
It was so beautiful and sweet. Whoever you wrote this for probably feels special right now. -
Well done on this piece, i love the imagery and metaphor use in this write. well done with all the trophies you earned from this.
Keep that pen flowing
L.A -
I see alot of people already commented on this.
So I'm just gonna say nice job. -
This was very good
This made me think of the poems I used to write envolving a relationship or love interest and it very well written and a very good poem. Wish i could write that way again but if there is people that still can, I think that is life moving on and passing the torch and well with that poem the torch has beeen pass rightly. Thanks and will look forward to more of you work and will look at the rest of you present ones.
. Rewarded 12
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Congrats on the bronze and honorable mention trophies. This was so romantic and lovely. Your emotions are expressed so vividly in this and that's something that always makes me feel a poem is at it's best. When the poet is sincere. <3 Nicely done
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you certainly have a way with love and romance! I do love your take on the title... it's funny that we both had a write with the same title! Well penned! 8rose*
peace and love
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Superb
Thank you for sharing dear friend, enjoyed reading your work
Best of luck in contest -
Nicely done, I like the theme of selflessness. I would do anything for do anything for the girl I like as well. :] It's beautiful when you find someone yuou care about enough to sacrifice yourself for them.
Critically speaking, however, this was somewhat cliche. Not that that's bad, but just for the contest, I was looking for something a tad more original for the contests. Perhaps try going through the piece and where you see spots where you can create stronger emotion, insert some stronger phrases, imagery, or figurative language.
Thx for entering my contest. :] -
Oh my! Very lovely. Beautifully penned. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck to you
*clappy 
Ps. Please mention "The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout" in your Author Notes. It's mentioned in the contest page, it's so I know that you have read everything and the rules. Thank you
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should that be I.V. like at the hospital? in line 4
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This is So beautiful! Full of emotions. love and the want to change and please whatever it takes for the cost is well worth the deeds. Dedication, good flow! Just a wonderful poem! Good luck in contest, Rose
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wow.... a lucky girl this was written for. beauitifully worded xxx
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This is amazing!1 You did such an excellent job!1 I love it
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Well done !
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Thank you for your most beautifully spoken entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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beautiful i love it well done on a brilliant write good luck
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Beautiful write
Such heart felt feelings here and if everyone felt this way the hearts would stop breaking and this world could find its way back out of the dark for love and the very ways of love seems to be scattered in the winds for so many .
. Rewarded 4
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WOw I love how your repeat that last line. It wsa so smoth and soft and I though it was so sweet how you said you cause me to cry and don't think I'm weak...awwww I have written poem in a while but I'm about to make one about you. awww your so cute in your writing. You make tears pours out my soul
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such a beautiful piece!!! I to was automatically hooked. tipically i can never finish long poem like yours but this was an exception. Wonderful choice of words. Best part:
"Lyrics and sounds
are the soul compounds,
so flow in me;
like the oxygen in my lungs
abound in me
with joy and passion,
we're the chemistry
of the heart's intimacy,
in spirit or in flesh,
I love you like I love myself--
we're the soul matrimony,
love and glory,
a living testimony,
that forever should be...
wonderful job!!!!!!!! -
Vibrant!
A vision of peace and tranquillity.
I loved the idea surrounding this poem, and I cannot envision it any other way. their is truly nothing I would have changed.
You have an honest talent, and it radiates from you soul, into the heart of your pen.
Peace and love to you my friend, and may it for always be this ... what you move to claIm.
~ James ~
. Rewarded 6
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Well, you sure have me hooked. This is a very lovely and touching piece! The words flow like silk from your pen. Great job. Good luck in the contest!
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This piece flows with passion and a forever love, a special love that will be in your heart forever. Wonderfully written and very moving, nice job! Many Blessings, FAH
. Rewarded 4
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Beautiful!
Line 1: should be wakes
Line 4: What is "an ivy" ?
I love this part:
And like an ivy,
it runs throughout my veins,
and scorches my inner being
How I die inside
to see you in pain;"
And this:
"Lyrics and sounds
are the soul compounds,
so flow in me;
like the oxygen in my lungs
abound in me
with joy and passion,
we're the chemistry"
This is really good. I lke your imagery. You are quite talented!
best wishes! Write on 'cause you rock!
TFRB
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I'm impressed, it has a lot of heart in it, and makes me think of the first rush of love.
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I was quite taken aback by the beauty in this piece, it touched the very core of my heart. This is entering my bookmarks I must say. Best to you in all your endeavours.
. Rewarded 4
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this is beautiful, so full of emotion, it really keeps the reader hooked, great write,
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My god. This poem made me cry! Your passion shows through in every line. A wonderful write! Bravo! never stop writing!
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This is beautiful. Full of love and devotion. Excellent write
~lae
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yet; you cause me to cry,
but don't think that I'm weak,
there's something that can't be denied,
this is my favorite part, but it is a great write as a whole! Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest -
i really liked the emotion in this poem. there was a really cool rhythm to it causing me to read it as if it were spoken word, but some of it didnt flow very well, and a few of the sentences were a little cliche. i still liked this though, it could just use some touching up. great write!
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awh this is amazing,
exactly what I wanted
I can feel your passion for her
My favorite lines---
And like an ivy,
it runs throughout my veins,
and scorches my inner being
Beautiful, just lovely
great write
good luck
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WOW!
How I wish someone would write a poem like this for me!
this was just lovely.
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this is a gorgeous poem my friend. wonderfully penned!
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there is a lot of really good emotion displayed in this poem. very beautiful. very heart filling. i loved it!
darling,
I'm willing to change
from winter to spring,
from a nothing to something
from a stranger to a friend,
from a crush to true feelings
from a promise to a wedding ring,
and from a boyfriend to a husband,
yes, I'm willing to change,
to anything that'll forever remain...
i really really like this part of the poem. its what really shows the amount of love you have for her. very beautiful. very very good!
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wow such a deep emotional poem and i loved every second of it and am glad i read it, well done on this great write and i loved the flow, well done.
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Not until I learned to love me
could I ever think of loving you.
Not until respect became my tool
could I expect to fix that which was broken.
Love comes in many flavors
and never tastes the same on different tongues.
There is a richness in even knowing
the boundless wisp that love brings.
Beautiful work dear heart. This poem pulls at the heart and spiri with honesty. These words softly share the reality of loving someone who we cannot touch with our physical hands, only with our words...
Excellent!
Much Love Always ♥
Mom
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Someones heart is lost to another...you better grap that string and pull it closer...this seeps of love and not just any love a love beyond space and time...true and perfect...nicely done...
Best to you both...
Blessings,
mystic
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This is a very well written poem that flows well. And I like it very much!
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I do not think it is appropriate for me to judge your poem like I have been asked, it is a personal poem and only you can rate it. However I did like it,
"The morning awakes
and filters through my conscience
some senses of reality."
Was my favorite part by far. Later on it became just a little uhhhh, It just reminded me of every other love poem. It is the few parts of uniqueness I love about this poem. -
Outstanding!!!
So full of passion & depth...
Great descriptive narrative expressed with heartfelt honesty that enthralls throughout...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Beautiful poetry! Well written with so much emotion..very touching and wonderful.
Linda
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There is a lucky girl
out there somewhere!!! This is a beautifully written love poem, from the heart. I really like the fourth stanza, it is so pure and truthful sounding. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful and inspirational masterpiece with us!!! 
Peace, Cyn
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wow this is beautiful it flows so rich with the words you chose that help it read very smoothly
but don't think that I'm weak,
there's something that can't be denied,
yeah, you help me rise to my highest peak,
like the stars to the sky,
lovely Wow nice piece
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Hey! This is an awesome poem in my opinion! Yur a great writer!
how i die inside
to see you in pain
i lose my smile in your sadness
so true for many people. Great job!
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wow, true love never fails is the main theme i presume in this poem. your true fealings and emotions in this poem and your gentle words to rencurence and prove yourself to be a worthy husband is what makes this poem uniquely different. i also noted some rhyming schemes which arae also very good, a bit here and a bit there which also brought life to the poem. an excellent job indeed.
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Wow, not this is really excellent. A great testament to love and it's limit (<--none). The punctuaiton and capitalization needs to be improved, it doen't fit the flow or idea of the poem. The way you say you will do anything for this person is truly heart renching.
I feel all bubbly and nice inside after reading all of this, it seems to be extremely selfless. The title is perfectly insinct with the poem and the repetition of your love and what you would do for it is really sweet and nice. Well done.
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I love the line "I'm willing to change, from a promise to a wedding ring, to anything that'll forever remain." and "Lyrics and sounds are the sole compounds/with joy and passion/we're the chemistry, of the heart's intimacy/that forever should be"
This was such an lovely poem. I'm glad a dozenglassroses told me about you. Thank you for sharing.
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Very well written and very romantic. Excellent writing, poet!
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I think it is wonderful
If a man wrote this for me I would be in tears
very touching
great job
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Is this a song? It reads more like lyrics for a song to me. It is very romantic, there is a lot of love, passion, affection, shown in this verse. I'm not sure if I like it or not, it's a very good piece of work, however a bit too *mushy* for my taste, but I think that if I'd written this poem, I'd be proud of it. Cheers...
. Rewarded 6
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Very...romantic.
Whoever that was written for is quite the muse 'a haven within heaven itself..'
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This is a great poem.
What was your inspiration for writing this?
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This flows nicely and has all the rhythm and feeling of a love song. The occasional rhymes in the third stanza were a little disconcerting. However, this was also my favorite stanza for the metaphors and similes:
"Lyrics and sounds
are the soul compounds,
so flow in me;
like the oxygen in my lungs"
. Rewarded 6
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i loooooved the 2nd stanza, and the way you describe change from a condition to another..
from winter to spring,
from a nothing to something
from a stranger to a friend,
from a crush to true feelings
from a promise to a wedding ring,
and from a boyfriend to a husband
really, it's so touching.
well done!!!
. Rewarded 6
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Breath-taking!!
this is sooooo beautiful!! what a wonderful love poem. this could easily be a love song!!
Simply beautiful!!!
SilverButterfly
. Rewarded 4
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Fantastic
i hope you showed your loved one this or read it to them cause it was really touching...
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Beautiful poem mack
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I love the poem completely.
But these reached my heart best:
"I'll always love you
like I love myself
we're the soul matrimony,
love and glory,
a living testimony,
that forever should be...
Like the dew ascending to heaven,
you enrich my life with blessings,
so much love and excitements,
yet; you cause me to cry,
but don't think that I'm weak,
there's something that can't be denied,
yeah, you help me rise to my highest peak,
like the stars to the sky,
you're a haven within heaven itself
and I love you like I love myself..."
Wonderfully done.
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