Enters she the smoke streaked gloom,
Inhales ground-coffee’s drug-like scent,
Fights her way ’cross crowded room,
Towards fingers at her bent
First day at college was a ball,
Shakespeare, Chekhov and Proust,
Stalking black-clad down each hall,
Knowing whose virginity gets lost
After dark The Café rings,
Karaoke mic is fueled with booze,
Smirks critique every fool who sings,
To fit in she jeers and boos
Southern Hick Girl’s left behind,
Replaced by geek chic class,
Nothing but amusement can she find,
For that boy so bold as brass
Catch her eye and keep it held,
Step forwards, grasp the mic,
Tips his hat as music swells,
He sees through her right
(I'm coming back to finsih this, but my university assignment got itnthe way)
Author notes
My AP name is J.P.Troy and I'm paired with Rheea
Our prompt is:
“You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the
honky tonk out of the girl.” By Bobby Ray from Sweet Home Alabama
A contest entry
- A whole different contest **Round 2 --3day contest by takemypainaway.
500 points, ended September 19, 2008, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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The imagery was so real I could've been there. I could visualise every moment clearly. The art of the dramatist is woven cleverly into this piece! Another soulful write from my favourite actress. Thank you for sharing.
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Rheea is southern and'southern hick' is a derogatory name that means white trash, whites who hate blacks etc. I think it would be wise if you looked things like this up in the future before you use them they make me run hot. I know you did not know. If I wrote about a girl or woman from your country I would look at the slang a bit more carefully. maybe you will want to change that.. your call.
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I'm sorry for causing offense. The idea was to show the girl's fear of being thought badly of by other college students. I'll try to reword it when I've time. Congratulations on your win. Your poem was very good.
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No problem sweetie it must be hard to write most everything centered on the US.
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this is wonderfull!! i only choose rheea over you because hers seems southern
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Thank you. I've really enjoyed taking part in your series of contests. Sorry I couldn't do a better job on this one. I've had a hell of a week! Also, being born and living in Australia, I guess I don't know enough of American culture to have that spark of inspiration that Rheea's poem had.
Thanks again and good luck with you future contests
J.P.T.
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Blues and country music starting from the 1800s your so young=) but you write too well my muse is asleep!
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