choices

She knows she bad at making decisions
And it seems like she is
Overwhelmed by them
Some small and insignificant
In the long run
Others not so small
Others that could change the way she sees the world
One that would change the way the world sees her

First there’s homecoming
And she doesn’t wanna go
Could she handle
Seeing him there
Dancing with other girls
How would that make her feel?
Would she have fun
Going dateless, with just her friends
And not dancing with every guy insight?
Part of her says go, dance have fun
You can do it, or can you?

Then there’s taking
Does she want to tell the detective
What she knows about
Her ex best friends rape?
Maybe get herself tangled in the mess
But help the closest friend
She ever had.
Maybe risk the chance of going to court
And facing the people
She’s heard so much (bad) about
Would talking to a detective
Help sort this mess out?

There’s also the issue of love
To love or not to love
And if she should love then who to love?
The boy whose loved her for two years
But has just given up hope
That she’ll ever like him
(when secretly she did)
or the guy who loved her friend
and was heartbroken and sent
into spiraling depression
with drinking and drugs
when she dumped him?
But he seems most promising
Knowing how to be a good boyfriend
And relating to her on every level
Understanding the hurt and pain
And not wanting to get heart broken
Yet again.
There’s also the guy
Who smokes and does
Every drug known to man
He’s sweet in a way, but only wants
To get in her pants
But something about him
Kinda draws her closer
Something about him
Intrigues her, everything about him
Is new and unexplored
Then what about her ex
What to feel about him
Love,hate,longing,sadness
And so many more
She misses him
With all her heart
And he doesn’t even seem to care

Lastly and maybe most important of all
To get help or stay quiet
And not tell a soul
No one knows that she still cuts
Almost every night
Under where her undies cover
So no one will ever see
She knows it wrong
But doesn’t have the strength to stop
And she doesn’t want to admit she has a problem
She almost doesn’t want to stop.
Getting help wouldn’t really help anything
People would only be mad
When they found out
The secret she’s been hiding.

Flip a coin; it lands on its side
Ask an 8 ball; it has no answer
Tarot cards? The answers make no sense
She’s not good at making decisions
But no ones going to choose for her