Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Sepia Illusions

I ask for words and inspiration
I wish for thoughts to overflow,
But somehow life won’t grant me pleasures
And the things I need to revive my soul.
I’ve read the stories of thirst and drought
And how men fall prey to death’s doorknocker
But on the verge of their last breaths
The rain crashes down to whisk ‘em away.
Myths and legends, lore and poetry
Swirl up scenes in the eyes of my mind
Convincing and willing with sepia illusions
That everything is real but I still can’t believe.
I’m not a witty heroine in bestseller novels
And I don’t save the world as the hourglass drains
I’m not painting smiles on atom bombs
But I might as well document reality. 

A contest entry

Is there anything specific to improve on?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 24 of 24
  • mikaelaviking
    April 11
    Edit | Reply

    i loved it

    honest and true and well writen

  • vmplvrbll
    March 1

    Edit | Reply
    i love how you kept it true - it's not like some happy-ending story, its the truth about reality. great job :]


  • Captain Benjy
    January 29

    Edit | Reply
    I love the last couple of lines the best. The whole thing is just great. It sort of sounds like a voice-over at the beginning and/or end of an a movie.


    • Capitaine Rouge
      January 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Captain! Your perspective with the "voice-over" thing is interesting. I've never thought about that!

      • Captain Benjy
        January 29
        Edit | Reply
        Starting with "I'm not a witty heroine", I could just see some sort of young woman action heroine looking on the roof of a skyscraper, looking over the city she just saved, with the voice over playing.

        • Capitaine Rouge
          January 29
          Edit | Reply
          Oh! Sounds to me like a modern day ninja/pirate! Aha!

          • Captain Benjy
            January 29
            Edit | Reply
            That could work too.

            Man, now I want to see a decent action heroine movie. But that's an impossible wish!
  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A good piece, not usually what I am drawn to but I have to say that this is well written.

    You have a good amount of imagery and the emotion is consistent throughout

  • Pickle Baby
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is wonderful!
    So intense and full of meaning - and personal reflection too. Very interesting and thought-provoking. I especially liked the line at the end: "But I might as well document reality." So true, and so powerful..
    This should honestly be published! You seem to be a very accomplished poet indeed
    have a lovely day.
    peace and love x


  • lovesky
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love the imagery of this piece!
    Great flow ,Nice work!

  • Eusebius
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey, yes, chock full of fine, sharp poetical images...a most intriguing piece of poetry! fine... fine write! bravo....


  • Adrialic
    October 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What we are today has no bearing on what we are tomorrow. Just keep walking the path, something good will come along.

    Very interesting read, every line is very well thought out.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Sesheta
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has a great flow, and really wonderful imagery. I read through it several times to better absorb what the words said, and it only improved with repetition! I love poems that do that. The last lines really caught me and tickled me pink; they are really well done, and the last line is so true. Plus, I got introduced to some great music! Win-win-win-win!


  • neurosine gold member
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You might as well keep striving. Heroes and heroines are after all every day people sometimes through circumstance, but most often who reached beyond their boundries and tried to define what they thought was important.
  • headintheclouds
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good job on this poem. You should document reality. Cool write and good luck in my contest!
  • Durlon
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    well done

    Flows well. Good rhythm. As another reviewer pointed out, you have a way with words. Good and interesting imagery. Only suggestion I can make is for flow and emphasis, set off "reality" somehow. Maybe like: ". . . reality".

    . Rewarded 4

  • zorman32
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Delusions of...

    I don't know how to spell grandeur. Great read! It's sad sometimes, just sad. The grass is greener, the cup half full, life is good, don't worry - be happy...coffee grounds. It's not all bad though eh? Great read!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Clovis...Curious silver member
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    A most excellent write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us.

  • you make me smile
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know the song but reading your words, took my breath away. Some people have a way with words & looks like you're one of them. This is so true & genuine with a hint of sadness. Well Done!!


  • Beauty Of Silence
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hey, i gotta agree with thegreatestlove. I don't quite see the connection between the song and this poem! but this poem was written beautifully. the flow was great, and imagery was good. just one suggestion tho, maybe you could split up this poem into stanzas. other than that, this was a pleasure to read!


  • teebs
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heya, nice work again, as per usual. The last four lines are awesome


  • Walk-Free
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    nice song you've chosen

    i didn't really catch how this poem was linked to the song.

    but the poem itself was great. loved all the metaphors you used here and i especially thought that the title was pretty cool.

    good job


  • Yorkshire Rose
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    go you! mmm i luv the title also some of the lines are really diffrent like the atomic bomb
  • SilentMoonlight
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I've always wanted to do something like paint smiles on atom bombs
    We may not be the great people we read or hear about but we are our own great person in our own great life and thats all that matters. You wrote this very beautifully full of great imagery and passion.
    Keep it up!!
1 - 24 of 24