The silence of my heart and mind,
Once again will soon be mine.
The peaceful serenity,
Of cold darkness wil set me free.
In the infinity of black,
I will have all my wisdom back.
I'll hide and watch the world of light,
To regain my mental might.
In light you seem comfortable,
While I see you are gullable.
You all think that light reveals all,
And I'll laugh as I watch you fall.
The illusion of light conceals,
And shows you what you think is real.
Enjoy the ignorence of light,
Cause dark knowledge just brings you fright.
Author notes
I am a deep spiritual big picturist so if you have any good ideas on something for me to write about (religeon, spirituality, emotion)
A contest entry
- Raven Song by Shya.
700 points, ended October 19, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I am still a beginner so.... How am I doing?
Comments
-
This is deep and thought-provoking, although the meter does not flow well and the rhyme does sound a bit forced at times. for example, the line "the peaceful serenity" just seems to lack a few syllables. Still, a good poem for a beginner; it takes skill to write a rhyming poem well. I love the descriptive phrases you've used. Thanks for entering my contest. Shya
-
welcome to all poetry
Hi Korvair Blackheart
I think you are doing well, the only thing that would make this better is if your rhymes were words that wasn't so common, like you have might, light. The line where you end with conceal and real that is excellent
good poem please keep writing, reading and commenting
Barbara
site greeter
-
-
Thank you.
Thank you for the comment. I will try to expand my vocabulary a little more. Thank you for the advice.
-
Adding your comment:
