Pierced in grip of Satans claws,
in pools of sin lie virgin tears,
kissed in degradations lips,
repellent breath surrenders fears.
Penitance a long lost vow,
tainted wings now curl and fray,
once pure she burns in fires of hell,
the devils asking price to pay.
Reflection mirrors mortal grief,
heaving breasts sweat beads of thirst,
drank from cups of spirits free,
vagina scorched, a womb now cursed.
In a list
A contest entry
- FALLEN ANGEL by Whispering Wind.
500 points, ended September 29, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wow
nice take in the pic bro beautiful poem deep with darkness
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Awesome!!!
I'm not sure how or why I missed out on reading your masterpiece before now. 
This poem is very worthy of the golden chalice, dear brother o' mine. Thank you for sharing your muse's foray into surreal metaphoric darkness. Peace Always, Cyn 
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spooky write. But written very well. Greatly enjoyed!
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SUPERB.
Graham, I haven't read one of your poems that I didn't like your rhyme and rythme are first class. Although this a dark piece it still has a gentleness about it. If this was in my contest it would be a winner. Good luck. Mom
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well brother mine you sure know how to write dark! lol. I really loved the intensity to this write.. you did such a great job!!!
Angel
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strong with very powerful language and great imagery. Another thumbs up write.
Shelly
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Great Poem!!
Awesome poem you have penned. Deep and dark take on the picture. Sounds like a winner dear nephew.
You take care.Hugs and smiles for you.
Bless You,
Aunt Sandy
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Humm..no words to comment..you astonished my muse and my control of the words to comment...ah..just wonderful one..
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Damn!
Very cool!
Very Gothic,
very hot.
Thats one lucky devil!
Such description ...
so prolific are you in painting this fiery picture in such short verse.
This is difficult,
it is something I have not yet acquired...
To be so articulate in bring forth an image with the punch you gave this.
Man... I dig this!
The vessel virgin is sacrificed to evil.
Great job my brother!
This was very imaginative,
The wavelength of your thought processes goes beyond magic.
Blessings,
LOWELL
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Oh my goodness
This is a truly dark write for often the young feels they are doomed to be left broken hearted and scorned by others therefore they hide themselves away and grieve for their loss is forever
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WOW
you have penned the perfect fallen angel...into the depth of Satan's den this once pure angel has wondered in...excellent read and thank you for entering
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Some of the line breaks are a bit askew and plus you've used 'burns' twice, which in a short piece like this, is a bit repeptitive! it's not my favourite genre of writing as i'm not a fan of end line rhyming but i think you've managed to stay away from cliche mostly, so well done
i wish you luck in the contest
Gill.
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Thank you so much again for your excellent input, i have changed one of the words Your wisdom, talent and advice are always most welcome
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Perfect flow. This is extremely good.
I absolutely love it!
Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing -
i loved your take on this prompt! It was awesomely written!!!
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i like the last stanza... wraps it all up.
you can just see the sorrow and shame that this piece displays. thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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