...and when my eyes close
blending myriads of light
filtering
sifting soaring freedom
in release
my essence begs to be scattered
over northern lakes
across crisp rivers
on a wind that breathes
upon golden aspen leaves in Autumn.
I am but nested energy
aching for revival;
survival's freedom
mimicking the float of
wet clouds and rainbows;
where I can leave my energy breath.
My smile, a cubed retreat,
pleads to be let go
to let eons held timeless
meld into eternity's wealth.
A contest entry
- Do Not Resuscitate by CarolDesjarlais.
1200 points, ended September 21, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Oh...nested energy, aching for revival.....what a statement of knowing. bravo! Love the northern lake iamges that scroll through my head at your descriptions.
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Nested Energy, I like that descriptive title for the day my body is finally allowed to rest and my spirit is released. You have given us a beautiful description of the transition between the closing of the eyes and the laying down of flesh and the full awakening of the spirit. This should do very well here indeed.
JLG -
Beautiful work all throughout this work here Pamela. Nicely portrayed. I admire a poet of your talent. THANKS!!
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My smile, a cubed retreat,
pleads to be let go
It is indeed a memorable phrase. I have read this poem several times over, but I am dull this morning. I know I like it, and that counts.
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Hi. very beautiful. seems we feel much a like about that day.hugs Di
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Love your title. Nested, then soaring.
Beautiful description of the transition between the closing of the eyes of flesh and the opening of the eyes of the spirit.
Lovely "float of...rainbows where I can leave my energy breath."
Delightful "my smile, a cubed retreat," as cubism was a style that strove to present multiple planes of the same object simultaneously.
A peaceful "meld[ing] into eternity's wealth."
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Excellent
Such a free spirit you are!
My smile, a cubed retreat,
pleads to be let go...
Oh dear, that's simply superb.
I loved the way your thoughts just flow. Language just enhances it...quite the natural way.
I always love the intensity of your thoughts and the beautiful expression of it through well chosen words and images.
Congrats and best regards
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Beautiful poetry, lady. Loved the truth and passion in these lines:
I am but nested energy
aching for revival;---------wow!
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I should hope your eyes remain wide open for some years to come, even while you are sleeping (in a sense).
These words let me know that your spirit will roam free, even after your breath escapes you for the last time. I do not believe in resuscitation. Machines have no right to breathe for me. I am like that leaf that clings to the tree until the last gust of winter heaves itself upon it, forcing it loose, and it slowly flutters to the ground. Your poem makes me think the same of you.
Beautiful!
I wish you well in the challenge.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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