you knew
the hardiest way to inspire
aneyelessnomad
scavenger-ing
the roofless earth
I was rather
a tactless kite
aiming
the direskies
of lightning
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your ocean;
a sarcastic world
full of edges,
strummed with my
gaps and gasps
you wrote
a song
scarcely I ache
scacrely you smile
there’s no love in yearning
there’s no yearning in love;
a crippled phrase
slapped against my breaths-
you sucked out
what you needed to
a dayornight
euphemized into moment.
Author notes
the ocean.
A contest entry
- -Bohemian Rhapsody- by sailor ptolema.
1100 points, ended October 9, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
you can comment. critique. leave behind whatever you will like to say,
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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ohhh this so cool. i love the words that are pressed together, without spacing, makes them read quicker.
i love the idea of an ocean with edges...
this is good.
thanks for entering.
pt
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This is by far the most unusual poem I have read all day but I really did enjoy it. There seemed so many subtleties and nuances that captivated me and and made me wonder. Good luck in the contest
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"tactless kite" - loved that. what a wonderful metaphorical piece!
~ Nicolette
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lol.. thanks *blush
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I think I just dived in
C
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WOW! What a read! I love Queen and Bohemian Rhapsody, and my son knows it word for word, so this really touches something in me that is truly beyond words.
Best of luck in this contest!
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lol... thanks for reading
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I love the sound of it when I read it aloud
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fanks fo reading!!! lol... i am going bonkers...
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do you mean scarcely?
this is beautiful, though, esha
love you
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haha yesh
see the c's were gone from two different places... quite complimentary!
*hug8 love you too
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Aww I love the image and emotion here, very nice. Is "sacrely" a typo or some word I don't know?
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lol... YESH... it's weird... cause i noticed the "typo" right after my internet died :/
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