As the darkness consumed the day... You knew I would soon be there,
as shadows formed a swirling eerie mist, my shapeless form caught your
eye you couldn't resist taking a peek...COULD YOU!?
Silently in your room....I started to transform within the misty gloom.
I could taste the panic in your heartbeat, smell your fear on every breath,
hear your silent screams as you came face to face with death...
Your hands around your ears trying to drown out the voices,
rocking as the clock tick tocked away the remaining seconds of your life.
Was I not what you wanted, did it no longer feel right?
Did you not beckon for me to take you from this life erasing your misery?
I have so many delightful memories of that night as you pleaded with me not
to take your life. The fear that glazed your violet eyes as your life
slowly dripped through my fingers...I was so surprised how much blood
there was as you choked on your tormented screams.
If only I had been a dream that night...
you know the nightmares we'd so often shared. What took my breath the most
was how you held onto your life...as though you cared, and of course
the sound of this pain has never left me. What pain's that I hear you ask?
Well, I am about to revel in... YOURS!
A contest entry
- Darkness and Love, Demons above by AbandonedAngel.
350 points, ended September 19, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me more! by ASmileForYou.
700 points, ended January 7, 74 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! most anything goes! by Thendestinystruck.
550 points, ended January 6, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Despair, Doom by Cheshy Cat.
425 points, ended February 27, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your best horror side by Short but cute.
1050 points, ended March 16, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Very creepy! Awesome write.
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kinda....creepy. haha but a good poem still! i love dark twisted poetry, reveals who we trully are...
not that you are a murderer.
thanks for entering! -
This was fantastic! So creepy and dark. This is exactly what I am looking for! Thanks for entering!
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A pleasure, so glad you enjoyed
~sugar~
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Oh so dark... And I love it...
Great narrative, rhythm & flow that was truly compelling & enthralled throughout...
Gave me shivers...
Keep up the good work...
Well done!!!
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Thank you for reading and commenting
valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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Dark and Forboding.
This has actually happened to a friend of mine many years ago. It brings to mind the same thing that happened to him. Anyway, this is a brand new skill here that you are learning, and mastering well Sugar. Dark Writing maybe is your forte now?
I don't know if it will be, but this was fantastic. The imagery that this produced within the mind was stunning. I loved the build-up of tension too. You have done very well with this Sugar, and to me this is a sure-fire winner.
Darkest Love
Wayne Leon
x
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I have had the best teacher sweetie
Thank you for your fab comment, always a pleasure to receive and read. I enjoy writing dark when it comes which isn't very often LOL!!! I always keep the lights on
I appreciate your constant support
Darkest Love
~sugar~ xx
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Well you have mastered a fabulous new skill in writing poetry hun.
This is awesome !
Jeeze as the story unfolds I get the creeping sounds echo over me..
Held me from beginning to end..
The fear that glazed your violet eyes as your life
slowly dripped through my fingers... ouch!
Brilliant I loved it
Good luck in the contest hun
Julie x
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Just playing Julie. I never know where this comes from when I write like this..it just seems to show itself every now and again...I must admit I do enjoy writing dark. Thank you for your fab comment, always a pleasure to have you read.
~sugar~
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First person dark narrative!
I like this! I have no criticisms. This was a very good 'dark'. I think you do well by the picure you painted and by the strength of your narration. Well done, Michelle.
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Thank you hon for your fab comment, always valued and appreciated.
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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This is amazing!
I really think that the imagery and mood of the poem
was so dark but i thought that
you wrote it tastefully and creatively.
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Thank you dark writes are not my strong point...I have a go now and again. Value and appreciate you reading.
~sugar~ -
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n/p
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