He made her want to
dance with mythical creatures
somewhere above the
North Caribbean coastline.
She cupped his craze tightly
between her pursed lips
in case it skimmed the
warm sand underfoot
and began to head for the sea.
"Stay with me sweetheart,
be my epic novel."
Author notes
image from art.co.uk
"a rose of any color and bright blue daisies"
In a list
A contest entry
- Show Me Your Best by JustFallingApart.
400 points, ended January 20, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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nice write, best of luck in my contest, thank you for entering and hope all is well
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Hi
It's amazing how you use your words.
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Imagery here is outstanding, emotions are ecstatic...made me want to personally dance- nonstop!!
I feel like your poem was captured from a fairytale, you’ve seized the essence of love and created graceful beauty through well chosen, simple words.
I can’t help but smile just reading the poem and the ending is very profound and heartfelt.
I adored this piece!
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Well that's one way of proposing, I'm still trying to figure how the word craze could be installed in the title, without titling it, "Head Overheels, Underfoot".
But an enjoyable read all the same.
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I'm sorry, but your comment confused me. It wasn't intended to be a proposal poem, just an "infatuated with new love" poem, however, if you want to take that idea from it you're more than welcome. Also, I don't get what you mean with the word "craze". Thanks for your comment anyway.
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Excellent poem that depicts the very intimate nature.
I need to see this on another day, but for now I only see that the punctuation could be lifted in most places. I love the ending.
Thank you!
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Hi SilverScent, I like your poem. If you have someone that makes you want to dance, then make him your dance partner. Also, Stay with me sweetheart, be my epic novel, this is very different, I like it. Keep up the good writing. Katie
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I love this, I can not think of anything you should change or add. The poetry and the picture intermingle well, the write is succinct, simple yet endearing and swells with emotion.
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"Stay with me sweetheart, be my epic novel." These lines are beautiful. They really stood out to me. The other parts were weaker in comparison, but still make for an interesting poem. Good luck in the contest.
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Very interesting ending lines.
Nice poem!
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i wouldn't revise this. it has that good feeling
to it, the moment is captured, recorded, lingers
long after the last word is read. You've done
well here. My kind of poetry
Love, Lane
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with warmth
its written with warmth of love
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Your work seems to have taken a more abstract stance recently... And it seems alot shorter. However, as per usual, I was not disapointed
Once again, and I say it again, It's awesome
I really, really digged the closing couplet.
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WOW I love this it's so pretty! best of luck in the contest I really hope you place this is a great piece of writing :0 xxx
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