How can I begin to explain,
How it devoids your life of light?
How can I begin to describe,
How it purges your life of love?
It shakes you to your core,
And shakes your core too.
It rocks you to your foundation,
And rocks your foundation too.
It strips you of who you are.
It swipes you of who you were.
Slowly, delicately,
Tumbling into a dark abyss.
It leaves you direly destitute,
It leaves you pathetically paralysed.
Gradually, surely,
Slipping into the depths of despair.
This voracious beast,
Savages your vulnerable heart.
This venomous beast,
Ravages your desolate soul.
Doggedly, it mauls you.
Determinedly, it suffocates you.
Destructively, it cripples you.
Deftly, it ends you.
A contest entry
- Dark, cutting, suicide, sadness, depression by stargardt13.
700 points, ended February 28, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is just a reflection on times past... is it emotive enough?
Comments
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This was very well written. It truley describes how you feel when your depressed. Thank you for sharing this with me. This was very emtional. I enjoyed being able to relate my own life to this.
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Right! I will remove that final stanza... thank you so very much for your review!
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This is a very vivid and adjective-filled piece that describes how I have often felt.
It has a very diverse structure; some stanzas have repeated sentence structures right on top of each other, and others don't. It makes the piece a little more interesting, and it certainly brings to mind the many layers and levels of depression one can have.
I felt like the last stanza was a little off. Its flow was significantly different from the others (at least, the way I was reading it), and I honestly prefer the previous stanza as the end of the piece; it was one of my favorites, and the last line in that stanza leaves the reader with an uneasy, trapped feeling. I think it has more emotional response from the reader.
"It leaves you pathetically paralysed..." -- I felt a very deep connection to this line; whenever I feel depressed, I feel rather numb. It's a very detached--dare I say--paralyzed feeling.
Excellent job, though. The emotional response I received from reading this was phenomenal; it almost made me want to go sit in a corner, hugging my pillow.
I would imagine that each person experiences depression in a different way, but this piece very much reflects my own.
Thank you for sharing!
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