Cold...
the autumn wind nipped,
blew through me,
and chilled my soul.
Arms wrapped around my middle,
scared and broken
I listened...
The wind of home
whispered to me,
whistling under the bridge.
It said to me,
"Gypsy."
It said to me,
"Goodbye."
No one knew I was leaving;
no one knew why.
I looked down to my feet,
where my heart lay,
broken.
It cracked again
as I waited to leave.
I whispered my goodbyes
and counted the tracks.
To where I go,
I do not know.
I leave this place,
to somewhere far from here.
The train pulls in.
"Gypsy,"
it says to me,
the voice of the
of my escape's whistle.
I whisper my goodbyes,
board the train,
and vanish.
Author notes
2) ESCape: http://m3d4.deviantart.com/art/ESCape-85978964
A contest entry
- Options by evidently.
1000 points, ended September 19, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
*is yet not amazed*
I'm not amazed at such talents that you have in writing.
But the feelings you show in them.
Honestally, this one almost made me wanna cry.
I never cry
Good write! I loved it! -
I like the way this poem focuses in on a small space of times; the repetition in it and the sense of atmosphere. I think maybe the beginning would be stronger if you just began 'The autumn wind nipped' rather than having the 'Cold...'...though you may disagree, of course.


