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Black Butterfly Lies

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perplexed innocence only a shadow
blamed & shamed by graceful blunders
no longer a chance to reconcile with truth

Regulating with distant consciousness
portraying one lie for another
grasping decomposed compromises

 

Bleeding black butterflies

from where once was my passion

now only to be broken by death

 

Loves truth has died once more

leaving painful stabs of cold breath

upon my chest of loneliness

 

Scattered decadence be warned

bitterness takes over a broken heart

scrambling to chance destiny's plans

 

Planted in the memoirs of candy

to make a life filled with hate and melancholy

teachers of sadness and sorrows

 

Deciding futures in hazy crystal balls

provided crystallized lies don't detest

with days final goodnight





A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • KatherineAnne
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Great word choice. This was a great, intense write.
    These were my favorite lines.

    "Scattered decadence be warned

    bitterness takes over a broken heart

    scrambling to chance destiny's plans"

    Great job.


  • Blasphemous Girl
    April 11

    Edit | Reply

    Great

    I like the intensity of the poem. It is deep, meaningful, gives you a whole lot of things to think about and question. I enjoyed the imagery, I also liked the detail in each line. You put pictures into my head and I feel that is what poetry is meant to do, it's nice to feel the words. Thanks for sharing x


  • Sparkle The Pirate
    April 4

    Edit | Reply
    washes over me like a really violent wave of depression. From first word to last it's really eye catching and makes you think very hard. Your lines are so perfectly alined and fit and the word play is insanity in a jar!!! Which is a great thing no lie! I really enjoyed this read and am glad to have found you again! I'm sorry for my absense but it's not easily helped when there's just no internet ya know?

    Ok back to this poem :

    I REALLY LIKED THESE LINES:

    Regulating with distant consciousness
    portraying one lie for another
    grasping decomposed compromises

    I really can't tell you of a day where I don't think like this about life and things in it...decomposed compromises...that's just a breath taking and provocative thought. Masterpiece m'dear!


    ~~


  • firefly smile
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    thats beautiful.

    I can't even decide a favorite part, the entire thing is very very unique and gorgous.


  • Romeo Dragonheart
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful I loved the background for the peom it was really beautiful and the flow of your words created great imagery
    Good Job
    Romeo


  • Rhythm Child
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    provided crystallized lies don't detest
    with days final goodnight

    great line
    i found this poem very insightful
    and the title really grabbed my attention


  • poeticwaste
    January 17

    Edit | Reply

    ...

    Loves truth has died once more

    leaving painful stabs of cold breath

    upon my chest of loneliness

    Over. Unforgettable.


  • OnceUponAMind
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What an amazingly emotional write!



    "Loves truth has died once more

    leaving painful stabs of cold breath

    upon my chest of loneliness



    Scattered decadence be warned

    bitterness takes over a broken heart

    scrambling to chance destiny's plans"


    Congrats on that shiny Silver


    AmBeR


  • suicidexnotesx91
    November 6, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is perfect
    It has to be one of the best poems I have read

    Like HxC (Hard Core)

  • Rhythm Child
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    ...

    i decided to show the lines i liked best because it was very hard to choose >>> Planted in the memoirs of candy

    to make a life filled with hate and melancholy

    teachers of sadness and sorrows



    Deciding futures in hazy crystal balls

    provided crystallized lies don't detest

    with days final goodnight
    <<< brilliant wording and good flow, well done


  • badnovocaine
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my I loved the picture you had with this one,
    its gorgeous!
    I would put my favorite part on here but I loved all of it. Its so deep and nice use of metaphores.
    Although I do have to say I liked the line (scrambling to chance destiny's plans) a lot.

    Nice silver trophy on this one also. You deserve it.


  • Darkwell
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this one leaves me speechless i dont even know if im smart enough to comment on it

    Bleeding black butterflies
    from where once was my passion
    now only to be broken by death

    just amazing imagery in the whole thing but that stanzas my fav. oh and i lurrrrrrrv your homepage


  • PrincessOfFire
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    So deep and emotional.The words flow so smoothly as you read it. I love your choice of metaphors. Keep up the good writing.
    Rose


  • Kimojuno
    October 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow-the words just jump off this poem and into the reader's mind. They seem to take a life of their own as the reader continues on.

    The emotions that radiate from this grasping at the reader's neck making them gasp for air, and yet continuing to read and even wanting more.

    This sort of poem only makes the meaning more worse,
    Jeff.


  • Sheli silver member
    October 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    BRILLIANT!

    words escape me! just WOW!


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning!! The imagery is beautifully done. I felt the melancholy in it was subtlely done! Awesome write.

  • Ace - LightWithinMe
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hello. This is a well written graphic piece, some of your metaphoric imagery is really good. I would say sort the punctuation out, but this must be your style so no point, hahaha. I wish you well in the contests you are in. My regards.

  • She Stole My Voice
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow.
    This left me speechless.
    Welcome to the finalists.
    Thank you for entering and good luck ♥


    -Rainbow.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    September 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooh. I love this. You did a fantastic job with it!!
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I loved this! The picture the poem the bacground it's all so amazing! You did a great job with this and I wish you a lot of luck in the contest


  • A m b r e a
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful piece, I love where you went with it. It really brought the picture to life! Well done! Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Truly brillant...wonderful imagery and flow...sweet metaphor through out, with deep sadness...lovely write...
    Best to you!
    mystic


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow.. this is an amazing poem.. the imagery through out this poem is Brilliant. I love stanzas 4-6.

    good luck my dear sweet daughter in this contest

    I love you

    mommy


  • CoundessaScarlotti
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think you should take this and run with it. Something like;
    "Memoirs of a Courtisan", it would make a facinating book of poetry if you could draw from it.

1 - 25 of 25