A cry in the dark
A voice that will never be heard
A soul lost forever
Doomed for all eternity
Dreams shattered
A heart broken
All hope lost
A life wasted
Abandonded by God
Nobody to turn to
Just a lost soul searching for answers
Author notes
In line ten should I add "Left with" at the begining of that line?
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Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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i really like this i can relate to it alot.
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Hoodwinked
I think it is fine the way you wrote it. I cna relate to your poem of feeling lost and a broken heart. -
I don't believe that you should add left at the beginning of that sentence, because trust me, He will never leave you or forsake you. In those moments where you think you walk alone, those are the times when He carries you. I know your pain though. I know bitter loss, but the day comes new every morning and there will be a light to pierce the darkness. God bless my friend, my prayers are with you.
~M~
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HOODWINKED
I think it would sound better by adding Left with but it still sounds good. I'm think this is definitely a poem a lot of people can connect with. I do, I've been having a lot of trouble probably the past two years wondering if anyone was there and if God was real and all that good confusing stuff. I know I really had a hard time a little over a month ago, I was in a car accident and almost died. I do like this poem and I think I'm going to bookmark it.
By the way you've been hoodwinked by your friendly Bandit neighbor.
~Whitemaiden
~ rose ~
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HOODWINKED!!
I believe that adding "Left with" will help the rythm and flow. I love this poem and all I can say is that I have been through the same deal and I understand, I will not tell you god exists because I do not believe in god but that is a very personal decision that you must come to but have faith it gets better as you go on I promise.
DW
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Hood Winked!
Oh dear....one can be lost & then found! He said He would never leave us or forsake us. It's easy to feel forgotten when going through a difficult time. That's when we need to cling close to The Tree of Life! Life's answers can be found in His Bible & they are a comfort to those that seek them! This is a poem of utter desperation and despair & is painful to read. I'll be
ing for you! 
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Hood-winked
Amazing write, and i honestly know well how you feel.. But i promise ive learnt that the answer to most things is simply time.. It gets better.. i promise
-hugs- -
This is focused, dark and probably very personal...
It could easily be Tanka, if shortened a bit.
I.E.~A soul lost forever...Doomed for all eternity~
these two lines say the same thing. The background
works well to emphasize the feeling, but font needs
to be highlighted to be readable...Try white or gray.
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amazing write very touching i loved it thanks for writing it....
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Sista this sounds so painful. Do u feel like this right now? So much pain and i pray u wrote this from the sidelines cause if its u WOW. I love u sis. Great write
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Dark. Very dark. Poetic as well. My final verdict: One brilliant piece of work.
Keep it up,
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Nice
It was very good, but you had a lot of bold statements with no follow up details. But overall, a very interesting piece. Good job -
Oh this is so sad
Honey if you have lost the love of another you arnt ever alone for God had nothing to do with the direction we so choose yet is always there with you to see you in all your travels .The choice is ours to make and often being human it doesnt always turn out as we plan but know that love is there before you if you continue the journey to see
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Short and sweet. Great write. I like the title lol. And I think you should leave 'Left with' off... I prefer it off. Good job I loved every line of it
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Interesting poem. Rather short but still pretty good.
The only thing I'd recommend is perhaps detailing a bit more...getting more in depth with it. Length isn't always the key but being able to fully convey an idea/thought/emotion is vital. This poem definitely has potential. :]
What brought you to write it? Just a rhetorical question.
Take care, keep writing!
Ta-ta.
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I really like this poem [: Keep up the amazing work :] this poem is so sad too :'[ but nice work!!!!
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VERY SAD
a little heart filled with such pain and loneliness, pulls the tears and makes me want to hold you thank you for sharing with me
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Awesome!
I don't think you should make any changes to line ten. To me it is very well written the way it is. Very nice poem. I'm sure many can relate to a poem like this. Its nice to know that there are others that have similar problems as our own or that are the same as us in some kind of way. lol In a way...thats saying that we're not alone. keep up the good work!
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No, leave it the way it it. Beautiful, although utterly tragic and despairing, . It shows the depths of feeling lost, abandoned and alone that we humans can feel - even though it is never true that we are alone or cut off from the Divine. It is a horrible way to feel. I know I have felt this way. I do a little today, but I am trying not to go there. My depression...
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