Why’d you hurt me when I was little?
You claim I was a good child, that I
Never did anything bad.
But you still pulled my hair and
Threw me across the room.
You smacked me and broke plastic
Brushes and spoons on my back
And bottom.
You always said, “I wish you were never born!”
And pretended to call the orphanage.
You made me pack my clothes even
Though I begged to stay with you.
I loved you so much even though
You abused me.
Mother, why?
You turned me into a mental mess.
I can’t help that I cut my arms.
I can’t help that I’m suicidal.
I want to live. I want to die.
I can’t live without you
Even though you did this to me.
All I ask is why?
You claimed you wanted
A perfect daughter to impress
Everyone and your in-laws.
If I never did anything bad,
Why did you hurt me?
You know I love you more
Now than I ever had.
We’re friends now,
But I’ve never forgiven you
For laying your hands on me,
calling me all kinds of names.
I hope you’ve made peace with yourself.
It may be your fault that I’m mentally ill,
But I don’t blame you for my other
Health problems.
You’ve said that I was a sickly child.
And I remember being sick all the time.
That’s not your fault.
So stop blaming yourself for every
Little thing that’s wrong with me.
Just remember that I love you.
My beautiful mother.
Author notes
I was obviously abused by my mother as a child and teenager. When I got older, she called me all kinds of names. Because I was plus size...she always told me I had to lose weight because the only kind of men that would want me would be men that would want me for sex (edited since you said not to use foul language). At the age of twenty, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Kidney Disease. Mom changed right then and there. Her favorite daughter was going to die. She became my friend and kept right on spoiling me by taking care of my bills, making sure I had a home and food and plenty of nice things. To this day she stills takes care of me and buys me presents all the time. I don't know what I'd do without her. I'm so afraid of the day when she dies. I'm so scared of what's going to happen to me mentally.
A contest entry
- Passion by MrsJones.
350 points, ended September 20, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is so full of raw emotion, and the fact that you are able to share this is definitly a step in the right direction. It seems like you and your mother should definitly seek help, you two don't have to go through these struggles on your own. I hope one day you both find happiness. Thanks for entering
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