View all of the scars upon my arms,
Yet you don't see who's under them.
Hear the cries of depression I weep,
But you don't comprehend the reason.
Compose lines of poetry to describe thee,
And still you can't interpret past the words.
All that anyone can ever vision, they can listen to, or that they can register is but skin deep.
I have so much more to offer if any one person would take but a moment to know who I really am.
Past all the wounds seen, the outcries heard of saddness,
and phrases written to distinguish.
Then you would all appreciate the fact that I am not what
you have envisioned on the outside of me, but that of
much more on the inside.
Gimmie your best
Comments
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"View all of the scars upon my arms,
Yet you don't see who's under them."
I really liked those few lines.
This is more prose than poetry, but it still has potential. Aesthetically, I think it would look better broken up into shorter stanzas, and I don't think the word "thee" quite fit. "You've used "you" all the way through, so I recommend sticking with it.
In all, not a bad write. Good luck in the contest.
Laura, aka Immortal
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Wow. Such an awesome poem. It's like you were writing about me! Thank you for entering into my contest, and GOOD LUCK!!
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