I awoke the other day
and I remembered that I had this dream
that I had become nothing
and there was nothing,
and my world had become a vague awareness
of something that had previously happened
but never did,
a missing page in a borrowed library book
...an important climax,
the pivotal ending
of a story that never ended.
I was the only figment left
of a child's imagination
that had faded into vast maturity
and I was stored away and forgotten
like an old doll in a cardboard box
and I had nothing to grasp
and it was frightening at first.
Everything had floated away
like a balloon into a cloudy sky,
fading into transparency,
an apparition left to haunt
the world forever from a perch
above it all
as a being superior to all others
but unknown,
basking in obscurity
and loneliness
and freedom
and then I realized
it was the most wonderful dream I had ever had.
Author notes
Inspiration: Image by Michael Giedrojc
I tried a practically brand new style from what I'm used to and kind of went a little abstract with the prompt. It's not my greatest work but I still accept it. There's this feeling of just letting go of everything that you held on to, a freeing of the soul, that just leaves you at peace. Almost like you are your own world and you control all that is in it. It's peaceful and just wonderful.
Comment and rate. Thanks
Sincerely,
Modernxtimes
A contest entry
- Life Poetry 101 by Dalaney.
1000 points, ended September 19, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Confessioin Competition by MaddCuppyCake.
525 points, ended May 17, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is a box...
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I like this, you manage with talent to reach into many of mine, and many others, I'm sure, lost thoughts that occassionally revisit and equally run off again. you inspire an intense inspiration to read on, thank you.
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thats rather disturbing. love the confession, but it makes me worry. i like being nothing as well, hidden amongst the surroundings that no one notices, but loving missing the feeling is diferent. great write. very interesting. good luck in the contest
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An absolutely stunning performance in poetry...I love this. Thank you so much for entering. Lane
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Everything had floated away
like a balloon into a cloudy sky,
fading into transparency,
an apparition left to haunt
the world forever from a perch
above it all
wow.
this is beautiful.
good luck in the contest! -
to borrow a few words from janis: "freedom's just another word/ for nothing left to lose.."
i really like this poem, it's a great example of the peace you can find at the bottom (or the top, in this case!), when you are alone and finally learning to accept it. i love the imagery here, the feeling of transparency comes through really well. for me, it sounds like a reminder of the impermanence of everything, human life especially. well done! -
its a very good basis for a poem. love the first half immensely. very good mood setting.
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This pic is kind of haunting to me...your take on it was very comforting in the end!
"and loneliness
and freedom"
This words that you wouldn't think of going together...fit perfectly in this poem!
Being alone brings a kind of freedom...freedom from worry of all this worlds problems.
I really loved this poem...great job!!
darlintlc
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I really enjoyed where you took the image. I sometimes think you can get the most out of writing with an image if you don't write about what you see, but what you feel.
To say it's a brand new style you pulled it off well. The language and descriptions were well presented.
The only suggestion I have involves the very first stanza. You managed to use the word "had" three times in around seven words. Maybe you could reword that sentence for the ease of the tongue.
Thanks for sharing!
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Intresting. If I had to describe what I thought this poem was about before...it became nothing, I'd say imagination itself. Its both alive and not, there and not. I liked it and yeah the picture was very cool. If you ever looked at any of Salvatore Dali's work, I bet you could really find a painting that'd set it off even more. that guy was messed up...in a very good way. LOL
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Wow! This is beautiful, and a really unique take on the photo. Your imagery you have used in this poem is amazing, and I like the way you set it up as a dream. Great job, and I wish you the best in the contest. Blessings, Patty
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