I am use to taking pills.
I am.
But I don’t take most of them.
I hide ‘em
It could be why I am miserable
Ya, that maybe right.
I remember years I played at McDonalds
We played tag in the tunnels
I remember it well.
So many moons ago.
My friends and I played.
No pills then.
No tears then.
The sky shined,
My life shined.
My friends and I shined.
My dad loved me.
My mom loved me.
Life was the best you could have.
Who would have thought...
If only I had a warranty on life.
You wonder why tears steamroll down my face.
I was once popular,
No damn warranty.
Mental illness took my mind away.
I was once happy.
No damn warranty.
Mental illness took my mind away.
I am broken.
No damn warranty.
My life Stolen from my bed in deep nighttime slumber
Not suppose to drink with pills.
Since when do I listen?
I drink until the bar tender won’t give me anymore.
I sway to the couch where I pass out and awake up outside.
I lay on concrete.
gravel is in my mouth
What a life.
What a God Damn good life.
No, WalMart does not sell firearms.
I already checked.
Won’t be shooting myself today.
And no.
Money does not buy happiness.
It buys my lawyer.
It buys my judge.
Those who say the legal system is fair,
Are the scam artists that run it.
Another DWI cleared.
Another drunken brawl,
Erased from my record.
Can it erase my misery,
Can it erase this shitty life.
Why! Tell me why I did not get a warranty on my life.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
very interesting idea! i agree that the use of repitition works in this piece well. It has a very bitter and cynical edge to it and I like the way you wrote it. It takes the reader on the path from innocence into an almost self loathing and distaste for life, due to the addiction. I also really like the title. Good work!!
-
This is hard hitting honesty. I see so much in these words. I think a lot of us wish we could re-wind and start over. Or in the case of your write...turn in that warranty and get ourselves a brand new start.
Pills and booze have been the downfall of many a person. I know of addition first hand.
I am one of the lucky ones who fought it off again and again and finally seem to have won. But who knows for certain?
I enjoyed the write although it is dark and reminds me of some very desperate nights and days.
I found it to be reflective and intense.
Best to you...
Az
-
wow
I really liked this poem, a real indication of the misery that our society can create, and it all starts out with an illusion created on McDonalds playgrounds that life is so simple, sweet, and fun. None of us have it that way, and the key is to roll with life even when the punches get you down...as they will
-
love it
I know exactly what you mean. So many tears have fallen from my eyes that i wish wouldn't have. some over friends, some just pain, but not a single one out of happiness -
I love this, great use of repetition. great concept of no warranty on life.
-
Interesting concept here. And I completely agree, a warranty on life would be a very good thing to have at times. This was a good write, and i especially liked the repetition in the third stanza, with the line right before the repeated phrase changing slightly every time. all in all, you did a great job w/ this. keep up the good work!
-
If only I had a warranty on life
- yeah, that would be good =]
this is a beautiful yet heartbreaking poem.
I love the bits of repitition - they get your ideas clearly into the readers head.
I also like the way it's written as if you're talking openly. It gives the poem a much more emotional feel overall.
My favourite lines :
I am use to taking pills.
I am.
They made me laugh at first,
arent we all? ^.^
Well done, an excellent poem and one I truly enjoyed reading.
ElectricBloom
-
No pills then.
No tears then.
The sky shined,
My life shined.
My friends and I shined.
shined--> shone?
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
