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Smiles in the Rain

Come and dance

in the rain with me

and let your lips curl

in a smile, free

for a smile's worth

a thousand heartbeats

and 
   the
      rain

washes away

all our defeats.



So come and play,

let the world fall away,

and smile,

just once more,

for me?

Author notes

What makes me happy...

http://fbuk.deviantart.com/art/Rain-Dance-03-67033662

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Zombie Bad Boy gold member
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    Rains always amazed me. When I was a kid I used
    to be afraid of it...
    So I'd hide in my mothers fridge....

    Anyways...(don't tell anyone that)
    Ive grown up to love it, and you express the love that you have for it here.


  • Kari gold member
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hey,

    oooo the rain...I love the rain! Lol. Rain makes everything so nice outside and it smells soo good.

    I appreciate your form and flow in this piece. It makes me miss the rain and hopes that it comes soon!

    My only suggestion in this piece would be that "So" doesn't need to start of the ending. Come and play would be just fine on it's on I believe.

    Thanks for this delightful entry!


    Kari


  • Wandering Woodchuck silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I can see why this makes you happy. It made me smile when I read it. You conveyed your feelings very well.

    Great job.

    Mike


  • Jaded
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Aww

    thats so sweet. lol Hi by the way.


  • Painted-Rose
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem. I actually like to walk or dance in the rain. It makes me feel all myself again.


  • Third Orbit Mars
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like this poem. its quite pretty throughout, but takes that slight desperate twist at the very end. it has a subtle tragic feel to it, as if you want someone else to be happy so bad, that youre willing to dedicate yourself to it. hmm, maybe i always see things like this in a more desperate light, but i like this poem none the less.

1 - 6 of 6