She stumbled and bruised her shin
Got up and did it again
Much like an automaton
She continued on and on
Other girls followed her lead
Smashing their shins 'til they'd bleed
They must go on 'til they drop
Wishing that the pain would stop.
Author notes
Those who cannot be bothered to study history are doomed to repeat the very same mistakes that occured in the past.
This is what scares me the most.
A contest entry
- Joys and Fears - Pay It Forward by Kari.
300 points, ended September 16, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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you such a poetic genius Mike!!
I love it, and I agree with you.
I just wish the pain keeps me from moving on, and thinking twice.
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I am glad you liked it. I really didnt expect to get the comments that I got on this one. It surprised me alot.
Mike
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Hello,
Oh wow! Now I loved this because you really thought outside of the box. I appreciate that a lot. Thanks for following the rules.
You are so right on in your AN. I agree with what you say as well.
One thing that I admire most about this piece is not only that I love what the subject is but I also love the flow of it as well.
I can't find anything wrong or nothing to suggest changing because it seems perfect.
Thanks for your entry,
Kari
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Wow. Much the gold and the glowing comment were much appreciated. I am always amazed at the poems that seem to get gold and those that seem to touch people.
Mike
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Superb
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. I quite agree with your author comments.
Thanks for sharing. -
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Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. It is much appreciated as always.
Mike -
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You are welcome.
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no kidding, huh? What's the quote? Doing things over and over, and expecting different results, it's called insanity. . .? Something like that. Dont tell me Im making the same mistakes when Im making them though, I won't hear you
Good poem, I see a little silly, but the message underneath is anything but.
Best wishes always,
Jin
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I am glad you got it. Most of my metaphors fall flat on their faces. I dont think i am sly enough to pull them off.
Mike
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I quite like this poem, it does seem silly, but when you look back at it, I really do understand your message, and it is frightful. good luck in the contest =]
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I am glad you liked this. I am not so good at the metaphors. I have had judges tell me I am far too literal. Generally, I try to avoid them, but everyone has to grow in their work.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Mike
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wow silly and yet so real....... this was another awesome write by an amazing poet... thank you for sharing this and good luck in contest.....!
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I am glad you liked this. I wanted to show the silliness of not learning from past mistakes. It is actually a scary thing to me.
Mike
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