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Love Potion

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Love Potion

Shades of grey, shadows cast,  
evening reflections last the night.
Shades of grey, damp the light
to summon you in sight my dear.
With sullen shadows clear
the air, your sudden fear is lost
and melts like winter frost.
I now invoke the cost of sin
to bring your spirit in.
The magic shall begin, I chant,
like wine it shall decant,
a fragrance that you can’t resist.
Disguised in sullen mist,
my power shall persist in kind,
a potion that will bind
and I shall keep you blind and fast.

 

 

 

Author notes

Art work by: Zindy
Luc Bat:
The luc bat is a Vietnamese form of poetry. It means simply "six eight" due to its pattern of syllables per line: 6,8,6,8,6,8, etc. There is no set length to the luc bat, so it can be as long or as short as you'd like. But what really makes this form interesting is the rhyming structure, which sounds a little complicated but is easy to grasp in practice. The sixth syllable of every eight-syllable line rhymes with the last syllable of the six-syllable line before it, which in turn rhymes with the eighth syllable of the eight-syllable line before it. When the end of the poem is reached, the last line jumps back and rhymes with the first. In other words, the syllables go like this:
* * * * * a
* * * * * a * b
* * * * * b
* * * * * b * c
* * * * * c
* * * * * c * d
* * * * * d
* * * * * d * a
...although of course the poem can be as long as you wish. Remember that it is always the final line of the poem which ends in the "a" rhyme, linking it back to the beginning.

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Never Fall in Love
    June 29
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    wow

  • dogpooper
    October 4, 2008

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    The sixth syllable in the eight

    syllable stanzas rhyme with the end of the sixth syllable stanzas.Six-eight is a neat syllable exchange.You have tripple interaction when the sixth syllable rhymes with eighth syllable above that.Forceful and well written.First and last lines rhyme.


  • Pisces Pieces
    September 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OH, you know Zindy!? I LOVE her drawings, especially the fantasy ones, she's quite talented and they're quite beautiful! This one is no exception, gorgeous drawing!

    I can really envision the scene carried out in this piece. It sounds as though she may have been betrayed and is now seeking her revenge in binding his love to her forever.

    Although there is a dark ambiance about this, it's very beautiful!!

    ♥


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    September 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a beautifully flowing poem of magic and love...a potion so strong it has to work my sweet little form Queen this is truly amazing...and a wonder to read...nemehotatse na Little Blue star


  • Lady Michaella
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    very great take on the prompt! A very interesting form of writing, but i really enjoyed it
    thanks heaps for entering
    gud luck!
    -RoseDaughter-


  • Faeryn
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    complex form much? lol
    Love the poem! and soooo confusd about the form. The poem is beautiful and captivating and really easy to read aloud (which is a good thing considering its before 6 a.m and I just woke up). You never cease to amaze me.
    Love,
    Tay


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    and at the ANs lol (so over my head sis )

    But WOWWOWWOW at the poem!!! Beautiful and tinged with a dark love feel.

    Stunning!


  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    Both cjarming and beautiful
    I had never heard of the "Luc Bat"
    The rhyme and flow of this form is really great.
    I shall have to attempt this form in the future
    Thanks for sharing your vast knowledge
    Oh yeah, the entire piece is simply wonderful
    Wish you the best in the contest
    Take care
    David


  • Tirrell
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I simply love the feel of this and the odd rhyme pattern seems fun, I have never seen this form before, but love the possibilities of it. What a beautiful and haunting write this is!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Ingenious - again!


  • Melodies
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Rather complex in structure, but not really when you read it with the form in mind. A challenge to write the first time, I would imagine. Charming and beautiful... delightful Asian feeling to it with its lithe rhyming. BRAVO! And I am so happy to read about a love potion because it is wonderful to think about. lol


  • StarEyes
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ok sis! *throws hands in air, and walks away*

    You win! This is amazing! and your talent with the forms, is it a wonder you are "The Form Queen" of AP?
    This is beyond words! Great job!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • paulcreates silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very creatively done Amera. These rhyme patterns just roll off your pen so easily it seems.

    Paul


  • Pure Thought silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    OH NOOOOO!!!

    Do not keep me blind and fast, I will not be able to read your words.

    Very nice!!!


  • PerVirtuous
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your poetry is always a love potion to me. This one is no exception. What a wonderful example of the form. This is meaningful, well executed and tells a very compelling story all at the same time. Standing ovations for that. Nobody would ever suspect this was a first try at the form. Bravo!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Terrific stuff!

    I was recently asked if I had ever written one and I hadn't, now you have shown me how.

    I love the flow of this and the little kick the rhyming gives this is better than a Not Bad!!!

    Not bloody bad at all in fact!!!

  • Stormraven
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wish it was for me Storm

1 - 17 of 17