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the girl

She gets ready to face the world
walks around on her own..
longing to find her family and her home
left without a trace not knowing the features of her parent's face..

she wanders the streets wanting to know
why they just left her when she was young.
Now she just lives in a run down hostel..
crying her self to sleep..

She wants too see her family
but shes too scared to see what they'll do..

1 year on still wondering the streets
watching peoples passing feet..
still in the hostel longing for her mom and dad
thinking shes did wrong and that's she was bad...

so much anger she Carry's on her back
one day she runs into the road and smack..........

Author notes

Broken - gurl

A contest entry

i dont know wether you'll like it...:(

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • storiesuntold gold member
    September 13
    Edit | Reply

    next in book ask darlee77 about this one ok


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    February 7
    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow. Great write. I can see it in my head like in a movie. You have the potential to be a very great writer. I think, one day, I'll pick up a book of poetry and start reading, and be like I know this. Hey, I know her from AP. I'm serious. You are a talent. Great work.


  • Still Standing gold member
    January 2

    Edit | Reply

    i love it

    I love personal pieces and this seems very. personal and heartfelt. Your words create a disturbing image of a young runaway. You can see her and feel sorry for her. Great job!


  • SunDew
    December 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the longing in this poem! It has so much emotion in it. And such a tragic ending! The rhyme is great, not too much, not too little.

    Thanks for entering & good luck!
    ~Bright


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    December 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Good write full of sadness from one so young.

    wonders should be wanders
    1 should be One
    peoples should be people's
    Carry's should be carries


  • HaleyMary
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I like it. :)

    That ending was very sad. The part of not knowing the features of faces made me think of a person having amnesia and not remembering where they came from, but the ending seemed to switch things up a bit and seemed to have a guilty feeling to the poem. Lots of powerful imagery in this piece, too. Keep that pen flowing.


  • Shuberth
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SAD

    So sad but very nice!
    Good use of use imagery here… I liked the story and how you put it…

    Shuberth

  • gigglegirl
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    awwww!

    That is so sad!
    Who was ur inspiration for that girl?
    oxoxox


  • Indecisive Speckle
    September 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    yeah like it alot

    wasn't expecting that ending! great write babe!

  • machine
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    It is sad

    It is a great write such feeling in it, but did you mean hotel instead of hostel? just asking. you have a great tallent keep it up!


  • Redeemed15
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh sweetie. Such a sad poem. I feel your hurt. I've often run into the street but unfortunatley never gotten hit. I'm still being reckless with my life. I luv ya a ton hun! Message me ANYTIME!


    • Coloured Skies
      September 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      AWW I LOVE YOU LOTS MORE ♥♥♥ your a great person { even though i've never met youuuuu] love you lots like jelly tots *love♥you*

1 - 12 of 12