I'm sorry, but one would think
that with fifty gazillion dollars?
You could have afforded to educate,
and spay that fucking Petri dish
you call a daughter. And why is
it that I'm accosted by your
filthy spent seed at every turn
of the channel and page? I'll
tell you why, because we go through
celebrity in this country like
your daughters go through condoms,
and top forty club hits! And
another thing: I hope she marries
Alexis Arquette, and they adopt
legless Cambodian landmine victims,
the Stock market incinerates, and
you have to sell all of your hotels
to Grandma Tarkinton's roadside
Trucker's Haven in Chatahoochie, Fla.
P.s. Why Paris, and not Budapest?
I'll tell you why:
Because your kind of people have
a secularity to the spoiling glimmer
& stench behind it all. Merry X-mas,
and for the love of god, spend
some time with your fucking kids?
So that we don't have to.
Author notes
My poem rocks, this poem rocks, touch my rocks, I hope they break all your eyes and windows you flock of cads.
Written January 20th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Whatever tickles your fancy. by kjack.
300 points, ended April 10, 2004, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Well, well said... Fuck... Like you need to hear this shit, but I hope I realize it at least a bit more deeply than some , you fuckin' kick ASS, J... Thank you for bieng more than one kind of connection, realization, comfort, appeasement... yeah, even revenge...
To you...
D.
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fucking hysterical, hysterectomy for free. OI vey.
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I totally agree with you on that one. I am still laughing over this. I truly detest the Hilton sisters. But I think I dislike Paris more than her sister. It is just something about them being all over the TV, it just makes me want to puke everytime that I turn it on and there they are. Blugh. Puke Puke Puke. I liked this poem by the way. It was a truly wonderful piece of work. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck to you.
becca
b
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I won't go into what I'd like to do to Paris .. ahem lets just say Countess Bathory would be put to shame .. Anyway - another very humorous, and entertaining poem .. And I think they truly named her well .. Paris - some think it's beautiful, some think it's exciting. I think it's over rated, and over-done. Not to mention, smells funny ..
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this is great....i was laughing the whole time i read it because it is so true....lol
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I know swfa about them apart from they both have excellent bodies! you poem was defintely out there lol
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lmao
I thought about blasting these two mindless wonders in a post. They annoy the hell out of me and the only reason I've ever seen them is because there is a male living here who wouldn't miss the chance to catch maybe a glimpse of a nipple. Good piece.
Desiree -
spay that fucking Petri dish
you call a daughter
HAHAHA!! this is priceless! Damn good, about time someone said something about those prefab'd barbie dolls, I'm only sorry I hadnt thought of this first..grr. Oh well, you did a marvolous job it. Loved it!
jane -
haha nice vent
-laura -
Hey what wrong wit dem poor sweet rich (filthy rich, really really filthy rich) girls? I think dey should have someone to take care of dem. Lute Volunteer.
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Great poem!
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I fucking love you. That was awesome and funny.
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I likes
Lol, This is great. Interesting idea for a write and the pic just makes it all work. I love it. -
Ooooooh
GOD I second this motion for some sort of world peace and harmony. My spam emails have surged a thousand fold - all with the subject "See Paris ..." and I've told her I can't be bothered these days, what with larger fish to fry and poetic images to spew upon the unsuspecting public. Her counter is that this is her poetry - the poetry of her inner being and all that she is - naked and blowing the collective male population (after all, her family is in the service industry)....but she really doesn't understand does she?
Money can buy a whole lotta stuff, but you can't buy common sense, morals or intelligence. Too bad Paris baby - some day you'll look back and cry (or pop a few more pills). But maybe you're blessed with far less intelligence than I credit you with and you'll look back and sigh dreamily....
Geez....see what happens when you hit me with this first thing in the morning? I haven't even finished my coffee and I'm already considering pulling down the tottering walls of society.
Mondo good Senor Horus8 - you're the pool boy poet to the stars. -
I have this recurring desire to peel off Paris's face and glue it to a rest area wall. Maybe I shouldn't share these things, people may steal my ideas. Their wealth is disgusting, their behavior obnoxious and their looks anything but appealing. Just my thinking on the subject. Oh and kinderwhores, yep. Nods
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I never mentioned her in my comments on your muppet caper piece but the first time I read that"come on your dashboard " line - I thought of her. Which led to a very weak attempt at dissing elsewhere but you've really captured the essence of the reason I thought of her in the first place in your Gstring piece. Mental Ring Around the Rosey with myself. I do so enjoy Vulgar Machismo Collection. Reminds of being a girl allowed in the Ole Boy's Club.
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*laughz* i take it you saw the Simple Life?
but i have to agree, if they spent more time with their kids and less time in their crystal bathtubs they'd have less annoying kids, and more responsible adults for offspring.
Nyx... -
Quite a vent, Jerimi.... and I pretty much agree. I'm sick of getting 14 emails every day telling me I can see the exclusive Paris Hilton video ..... hell, my guy and I could put her video's to shame if we wanted to dangle ourselves all over the news and the internet (well, I think we could anyway.... things usually get better with age, ya know)Lol.. I can see it now.... "Send for your own private video of an old chick and her just as old dude sharing the big time" ...or just for teasers..."click here to catch a glimpse what happens between the wrinkles ..and it's free".
Hmmmm... maybe I'm on to something here
Okay, so I've gone a little too far ...but.....hey, ya never know.
Cool write, Jerimi... a true piece of life... right there before us on our TV, our computer, our reading material......
Dee
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dam are you talking about the hilton twin and their scandals, you rock my world
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