I am sad to have lost my way
And even sadder to have lost my love
There has never been so lonely a night as this,
As the full moon escapes the enshrouding clouds
Now my eyes glisten with a stream of tears
Where have you flown to, my love—my glowing one
No footprints upon the white sand have you left behind
No sad sighs do you give off that I may follow them,
No sweet scent of incense trails behind that I may retrieve…
You have vanished before me
My dear one, you have vanished without me
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Rivals Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique"
Beloved Poet, do you not recall the wisdom of the One who said, "I am not going away. I am here.... Where could I go?" What IS may appear to vanish, but that is simply a part of the grand illusion called life. Love is eternal. We both know that, hmmm?
An exquisite write from the soul... as usual!
... à jamais dans votre cœur ~ S.


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I can't quite say that I agree with Rowan Moon here. Finishing the poem with your dear one vanishing without you brings the poem full circle to the premise you set in the first and second lines.


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A great expression of feelings here. I love your concept and how it was written out. Excellent job! Keep on writing.


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Sighhh...You cannot truly lose what you have first gained, dear Scribe. Love is never lost; it remains infinite in a world painted by beauty & grief. Wonderful, raw penning, my Friend.



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Excellent
Wow, a fine poignant write, indeed. You express your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
excellent
*erases so out of the first line also* -
*Erases the first two lines then gives you three snaps*


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Thank you, I think. But do you mean you dislike the first two lines?
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