A June like any other
A beginning of another summer
while I hung shells from the last
along my lanai
There wasn't much rhyme or reason
Just that they looked depressed
sitting in an old kitchen box all year
The neighbors kept their manners
and footprints of their thoughts
were washed away before I could see them
As the summer grew hotter
most people never looked
when they passed by, anymore
I nearly forgot about
my own graveyard of ocean bones
But some nights the wind would
kick up something fierce,
blowing its dry lips against
the conch shell
And I would wake up suddenly,
swearing I heard a warrior's cry to war
Author notes
Don't know if this is what you mean. But here it is. : )
A contest entry
- Do you understand ... by EvilKate.
1400 points, ended November 7, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A word picture creating sounds
When the movie "Lord of the Flies" first came out a conch shell made the rounds of my highschool, blowing at innaproriate times
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I apologise profoundly for the delay in judging. I had some serious health issues to deal with and, for reparation I will be sending each participant some points by way of sincere apology. Thank you for your entry.
I love the sense of unfinished to this - which isn't a derogatory comment. Rather, it is good poetry for the very simple fact of leaving itself open.
I also liked the deft touches - the way you wove fragments of tangibility throughout. Nice work.
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I see Hawaii in this. The 5th stanza is a great climax. The third seems a little dispensable, though. Not sure what the neighbors have to do with anything. Are you in the islands
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Such classic form lass.
You are truly the daughter of Jupiter and a child of the moon.
Such a picture you have painted for my mind.
Thank you child,
your poems are like gentle zephyrs at the waters double edge sword.
Stunning piece of art.
Peace,
LOWELL POE
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Good read. Felt like a breaking ball that comes in at the end and catches the corner of the plate.
Sudden power.
Good luck in the contest.
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Oh, this is such a good write! I love the ending - it has that "oomph" power a reader can appreciate. Best of luck to you, my friend. Love, Lane
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i liked it!
Enjoyed this one luvdrkchocolate! It has the imagery of summer. BRILLIANT work of expressive poetry! THANKS!!
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