the smell of the devil.

rain.
and the small of the devil.
next to me.
every breath draws me back.
the beautiful beginning,
the marvelous middle,
the heartbreaking end.
i can feel your fingers
on my back.
your lips on my shoulder.
the mop of hair i buried my face in.
that smell ruined my life.
and it's back.
and it's sitting next to me.
and it's intoxicating.
finding it's way from
nose to brain to heart,
it depresses me
down to my core.
that last embrace.
those words exchanged.
the glance back my way.
my last memories,
my last touch,
my last smell of the devil.
until now.
because it's back
and each inhale
shakes me in my bones.
your hand in mine.
your eyes in mine.
your heart's not mine.
but my heart was yours.
the bus stops and i run off.
but as i exit, remembering how you hurt me,
i step on her toes and whisper
(mostly to myself),
"this is what happens when you smell the devil."