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/END/ this!

...enough all of this...



,all of this,
< P >
< A >
< I >
< N >

...i don't need more affection...
^don't fake me^

...i don't need more love...
^coz i'm sick of it^

==all i want==
-ISH-


{~D/I/E~}

Author notes

it's my first DP poem...
i know it's not good one...
but i'm learning...

pls, for my first DP poem..
comment me...

A contest entry

pls, suggest and comment...:)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15
  • for your first this is amazing... no matter what this is amazing. great write.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    December 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know how this feels honey, Iv'e felt suicidal and lost because I'm so tired of being loved, then not loved, then loved. Nicely done.


  • Ryno
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I honestly don't think the emotion was strong enough. Because I don't know very much about Dirty Pretty - I am not really qualified to judge it - but I would say that you don't want to just focus on the overuse of punctuation, or, if you do, don't let it take the readers focus from the emotion - emotion is key, even in dirty pretty I feel.

    And, also, although Dirty Pretty alllows some cliche, don't get too carried away. But that is just my personal opinion.


  • DRUNKENxXxBABiiD0LL
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Not Bad

    I like that it was short and to the point. A little too much punctuation though. In dirty pretty you don't have to put punctutation everywhere. Putting it on key things or like ♥heart♥ or $MONEY$, *Stars* whatever. Anyways it wasn't bad, thanks for entering!


  • Lola Lola
    September 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow!! lots of emotion in this piece.
    great write!!


  • Yorkshire Rose
    September 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i like it, its really good go you i like the diffierent parts of this


  • Captain Jenny
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is cool. You did a good job in using the symbols. Great write hun =]

    ~love lae xo


  • Immer Leben
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ...DP? Dirrty Pretty?
    Uhm...It seems more like Glitter to me. Glitter is basically using symbols such as <>;"{[*~- etc etc to emphasize the point of the poem.
    It's simple, but not bad.



    ~S~


    • mizerdrea
      September 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      awww,thanks...

      pls teach me the different about dirty preety and glitter...
      thank you..^^

1 - 15 of 15