He robed that papal throne,
that currency
to coin the lavish coffers
whom faithless gave supply
hips thrust deep
into the seat of man;
He wore a scarlet visage
and blessed me with his hands
oh, can the spirit bruise when
sung within soprano?
staccato cries broke
stolen infancy
upon His marble floor.
and there was cold
and there was depth
and He had kindly eyes
such pity
I had never felt
as He took from me
my riches
the Faith that I
decried
Author notes
Prompt Number Two
GreenHrtPaleMoon
A contest entry
- ** Deep Options to Meet some Great Poets!** by City-of-Angels.
500 points, ended September 14, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critical Review Desired
Comments
-
Is this about god? The capitalizations of 'his' make me think so, but I'm unsure...it seems like it.
'papal' Damn, cool word.
And...unpretentiously so. 
"into the seat of man" Why does this crack me up? I dunno, it just does, and I think it's a strong phrase and line.
"sung inside soprano?"
I think this would sound more "magical/ethereal" if 'inside' was replaced for 'within'. Maybe.
"broke/like stolen infancy"
I think that's a great simile, but I think you should lose the 'like' so it feels more like it IS, not like it's like...
Although, that would change the meaning...
Good luck
Jessica
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Yes I should harm you for entering so late in the contest. Haha! I'm only teasing, I just wanted to give you a hard time
Anyway..very interesting write. It's very vague..which leaves the reader curious. Nice..I think I'm going to add this to my finals. Thanks for entering
-
Wonderful piece and I must say I have to agree, best wishes in the contest and to you always.
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