Careless looking at the night...touching the stars with my eyes,
thinking ...in the lost memories,
turning back to the past ....waiting for the things that
will never come..
for they do not exist.
A sweet essence embrace me....
no one is here ..only me,
the garden of flowery illusions never dies...
mystery, is the flower in my hearth.,
"Armor your self"
even when there's no need
I can't .
Darkness is not the enemy of my soul , the spirit in me hold my hand.,
always fighting next to me .
Dancing , feeling, touching , screaming ...all at once...will this ever end?
Walking in the labyrinth of my existence , I no longer coexist.
The old taboos are broken ...
the beast within disappears,
the weak in me no longer lives.
Come seat down..
" Fear me not."
My name is your name, the one you don't remember now.,
just look inside your heart..
look for letters in gold..and wake up..
Comments
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All of those ellipses make you poetry look like it's being read by Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle. Careless looking at the night -gasp- touching the stars with my eyes, etc. The first stanza is basically pointless, because you're describing something that does not exist. Unless, that wasn't the point of that at all, in which case your poem is so poorly written that I am unable to tell.
"no one is here ..only me," excluding the terribly grammar and dodgy capitalization, that's a bit redundant. What about, "I am here alone" or something along those lines. Saying no one is there and then contradiction yourself is a waste of your time and of the reader's time.
The rest of it is a bit better but those periods thrown around like confetti are hideous and clog your poem up like an ectopic pregnancy. See, I can use ridiculously overbearing similes too.
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