Daddy, can't you see me?
Can't you see me shiver?
Daddy, can't you hear me?
I'm crying for you --
Listen, Daddy, listen.
Daddy, don't you know it's cold?
Can't you see me shiver?
Daddy, listen, listen --
Can't you hear Sister crying?
Daddy, can't you hear her?
Daddy, can't you see me?
Can't you see that I am dying?
Sister has already fallen --
Put down your bottle, Daddy --
Daddy, can't you see us dying?
Daddy, where are you going?
Why can I hear sirens,
Why can I see lights?
The doctors have come to help,
They've taken you away.
Daddy, why aren't you here?
Where have they taken you?
Sister and I are dying --
Could they not take us?
Could they not save us, too?
Author notes
February 2008
Creative Writing I;
Prompt: NEWS ARTICLE -- Two young Canadian girls, ages two and four, found dead in a blizzard wearing only T-shirts and diapers. Their father was found and taken to the hospital, his mother confirmed that he had been drinking earlier that evening.
In a list
A contest entry
- No rules just Write by catalyst..
320 points, ended September 22, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wow Me by BehindTheShadow.
2550 points, ended October 5, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best of AP by ageofdarkpoets.
450 points, ended October 6, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pure Emotion! by xSarahx.
600 points, ended September 30, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter your best prewrite! Gain points. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
925 points, ended October 4, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take My Breath Away(Anything you Want) by fairytalelovestory.
675 points, ended October 19, 2008, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Blow Me Away. by Dead Red Head.
400 points, ended November 5, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
Ty for entering Good Luck. Cry this is so sad
-
An emotional piece indeed
This is something that tugs at the heartstrings
Very well penned
-
This was a great piece. Even though it was prompted from a news clipping, I think the reader can identify with it in their own way which differs from the original prompt. I know I did. I found it very touching. Thanks for sharing & g'luck in the contest
-
this truly breaks my heart. it's beautiful, but heart wrenching at the same time. Feel so much sadness.
-
Oh my God this is so sad. The repetition of the child's voice sent shivers. Did you make the 'prompt' so we would know the summary, or did this really happen, because either way it is sad. Great job.
-
-
Prompt
It actually happened.
My English/creative writing teacher last year was a news buff, so she told us to find a news article and bring it in, then write about it.
And I found that one. -
-
Well you did a great job. That's so sad... Well, good luck! Off to finish judging so you guys can get your little points and trophies!! ^_^
-
-
-
A haunting piece. Thanks for the superb entry.
-
Its so sad how parents can do things like that. I loved the innocence of the speaker in this. It really makes you think.
-
WOW thats intense and amaizng and brings a tear to my eye.
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
