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Final Breath For True Love


 

 

 

 

 

i.

 

I declare this love to last

as I take her into my arms

taking away her every breath

soaking her lips with my own

 

She has no idea of what she does

taking me to a darker place

then I am already in

 

The things my mortal love makes me feel

challenging my already darkened soul

what's left of me belongs to her

 

ii.

 

His cold lips upon my own

freezing fingers and broken nails

scratching at the nape of my neck

 

He searches for what he wants

begging me to give him life

my own delicate scent

 

I love him and he is mine

I give to him my final breath

as he takes me into his arms

forever and a night

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Todays Poem Box
    November 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry so late.

    Today's Poem: 10/26/2008


  • alreadygone2009
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty. I like it. This is the second poem I ahve read recently about vampires. Must be the Twilight series rage. But it is beautiful.
    Congratulations on your trophie.
    *HS*


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    November 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a wonderful display of one's love to another
    such an excellent poem

    well penned


  • Re-invention silver member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow.. nicely penned darling oh gawd cant stop loving vamps can't we ? lol congrats on the silver nicely penned and well deserved


  • voodoo ink Greeters member
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the brooding darkness in such a love poem. The undead romance with the living. A very nice display of love with a hint of sensuality. Excellent write, poet...


  • LadyShiva
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Chilling! An awesome write filled with imagery and emotion. I've got shivers just thinking about it! Thanks for sharing.

    Lauren


  • motel silver member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    at first glance I didn't see the connection but then I saw the twin nature of love ... the giving as well as the taking. wonderful images portray both sides of the coin.
    thanks.


  • stylization
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful job. You have stunning imagery which was integrated into the mood of the piece exceedingly well. The trophy was well-deserved.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Today's Poem: 10/25/2008


  • BuriedTreasures silver member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent imagery within this piece---Very well-deserving of the award.
    Well Done & Congratulations!

  • Eusebius
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sharp and very crisp, highly romantical (and, of course, vampiric) nicely and very deftly done poem all around. bravo.. bravo...


  • XxYoru-OkamixX
    October 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow, that's an amazing poem. you're a great poet. good job ^^


  • Dalaney gold member
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Cool write! Very well done. Thank you so much for entering. Love, Lane


  • Luthien Luinwe
    September 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful and romantic. Dark and haunted yet so beautifully potrayed! Amazing write!!


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    September 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good - the same moment seen from both sides.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I really loved how you captured
    this prompt. Very dark, romantic, and
    well thought out! Good luck to you with
    this one. I am sure that you will do
    well with it!




    Jeremy0826


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    now this is a dark romance.. perfectly penned and I so love it.. I love writes about vampires. you've done an incredible job with this.. your words have painted a dark picture of a love that will last an eternity.

    good luck in the contest my dear daughter.

    mommy


  • Angelflower
    September 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was darkly romantic.. you did such a wonderful job!! very vampiric.. bravo! best of luck in the contest my dear!


    Angel

1 - 18 of 18